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Confused and clueless

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In the 22 years that I have lived, I've gained absolutely 0 experience with guys. Everything I know about relationships comes from movies and books, and everything I know about sex comes from sex ed (which I covered my eyes for most of the time.) Now I am in a confusing situation of which I am clueless on how to handle. I have recently made two new friends, both guys. One of them I am very attracted to physically and have grown to like a lot, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't see me that way. The other I am attracted to his personality and we share a lot of commonalities, but I am not particularly attracted to him physically (not saying he is ugly, because he's not, and not saying that I would only go out with a guy for his looks). Now I am not the best at figuring out whether a person likes me or not (I'm very dense about this kind of thing) but I think the latter person is about to ask me out. What should I do about all this? And how does one know if you like/they like someone?

Confused and clueless

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Starting with the basics, if someone asks you out, it usually means they like you ;-)

But if you accept, it doesn't mean that you have to have sex with them.

The idea with dating is that you get to know someone better, so that you can decide if you want to think about having sex with them - there are other reasons, I'm just sticking to the subject for the moment.

So that's guy number 2 covered.

As for guy number 1, why not ask him to have a coffee with you? Or something similar? Try to get to know him better. Maybe ask him to go to an event with you, or a party, with other people involved, so not exactly a date, but an opportunity to see how he responds to you when doing something together..

People who fancy each other usually give off non-verbal signals, but if someone is shy, or feels awkward for some reason, they may stifle the signals, or perhaps they wear a 'mask' to cover up their true feelings.

Or maybe they've overdone the botox, but hey, that shouldn't be a problem for a while yet. J

The more you get to know someone, and the closer you get to them, the easier it is to pick up on the non-verbal signals.

There are lots of books on the market re Non Verbal Communication. Or have a look on the net by googling with NVC.

Personal space, and being close to someone can also be a guide.

Notice I say 'guide', because that's all any of these signals can be seen as, but they can be useful. Particularly if you notice how individuals react with different people, and in various circumstances.

If I were you, I'd think about getting to know these guys better, and forget the sex for the time being.

When the time feels right, it will just happen. Let the guy make the running, and apply the brakes if you think it's all happening a bit too fast.

Like most things, the more experienced you get, the easier it becomes.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

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