Please help advise me regarding relationship dillemma
I'm 28 years old and a single mum to 2,
I would like a genuine advise please,
Last year i left my 5 year marriage and since began a new relationship, after the seperation to my husband. We got along great until things became too intense when i realised i was pregnant and he ended it demanding i abort the baby which i would not do,
I lost the baby at 11 weeks
and have been in touch with both my husband and my ex, (the ex at least every other day but only via texts)
My husband wants us to try again, I am now at a loss as to whether to pursue either as future partners or whether to close the door on both relationships.
I understand this is long winded, but i had been with my husband 12 years and although i loved him ours was a quiet easy going relationship, whereas the ex i cant say I've truthfully ever felt so passionate about a man before!
I dont know how these forums work but i hope this has been OK and that you can be of some assistance
I would recommend ending things completely with your ex boyfriend. He sounds like a dirtbag. A real man would be there of you and not demand an abortion. If you were in that position again, do you think he would do the same thing? If so, he doesn't deserve you. As far as your ex husband goes, I don't really have any advice for you. If you think you would be happy with him, give it a shot. If you don't really want to, don't. Look for someone new who can be everything you want, a good father and a partner you really love. You don't have to choose between the two.
I think if abortion was his decision, you aldo agreed to it, so u r also partly responsible for it. Though abortion is a individuals decision im not commenting on it. If you are not happy please moveon. Move on in the sense not enter inyo another relationship. Just enjoy your life and independence and take responsibility fot your decisions . Dont waste your life spending time on these relationships . It is not worth it.
Thanks redstar I appreciate your response I think you might be right, although for some reason I am finding it so hard to forget him,
To the other poster I didn't abort I refused to I went for my 11 week scan and they discovered I had lost the baby but the baby wasn't miscarrying naturally I needed to be admitted to hospital for medical intervention & lost too much blood they say they nearly lost me, I mourned this baby because I would have done everything for all 3 of my children even if it meant being a single mum,
When I messages the father how bad things in hospital were his reply was to say his work had changed his shifts, meanwhile my husband visited me in hospital god bless him,
I appreciate a lot of people may think I'm not worthy of my husband and his continual support but please remember we finished before i met another man,
I think it's partially because of how supportive my husbands been through my loss & mourning that I consider going back, does that mean I've appreciated how good he is or does it mean right now i need him as a comfort blanket? I really do not want to hurt him if that's the case still hold aloof respect for him he's the father of my kids and we were together 12 years
Just wish I could stop the feelings for the ex
I'm so confused by my mixed emotions
I understand it can be very hard to let go of someone you really care about, but when it's not right it's just not right. I have found the easiest way is to erase everything that reminds you of him from your life. Throw out any pictures or items that he gave you and delete his number from your phone. Throw yourself into your work and your kids. Perhaps warn your ex husband that you're afraid you're using him as a comfort blanket. I hope it all works out for you...
Thanks red star your replies mean a lot to me,
I think your right and I will throw myself into my own life, perhaps try to make new female friends and discover my own mind and interests after all after so long in a relationship perhaps it's time I found my own self