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Why can't I just be happy?

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Before meeting my partner I was married to a man for 9 years. I was always open that I was bisexual and I was always faithful! We had 2 kids together and the relationship started going stale. We were both unhappy and I ended up falling in love with my best friend (a lady and my current partner). We have been together five years and I love her very much but I feel something is missing in our relationship. She is a lesbian and doesn't understand my attraction to both sexes. I've tried to tell her that I feel something's missing but she just doesn't understand. The biggest problem for me is I miss the part of the relationship where u have a man who protects you, who can take control and look after you, who walks down the street and makes you feel safe and protected. Women are needy, she needs this as much as I do and I don't want to be the one who does that. I want to be the one who's fragile and looked after! Now recently I have been doubting the whole relationship, thinking maybe I should be with a man not a woman and I've started craving male attention. Sometimes i crave it so badly I don't trust myself and have to walk away. What the hell is going on on my head? This girl loves me but I feel I'm just messed up. Help!

Why can't I just be happy?

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Your not happy because your relationship is not natural, homosexuality and bisexuality is wrong. You are a women and should be in a relationship with a man. You pretty much said it yourself that dating a women isn't complete. A man plays a huge role in a relationship, he is the protector, provider, the breadwinner for the family, his also the leader but in turn women have the role of supporting the man and caring for his need while he protects and provides for his woman. If you have a partner the same sex this perfect balance would be ruined because you both are playing the same part and is not going to work. It may seem like just a relationship to you but it's so much bigger than that. For example what if the sky decided I'm going to be grass and not sky. That would ruin so many things can you imagine what would happen of there was no sky? Two complete different things playing the same role will never work. Go back to dating a man and you'll be much happier. Also if your worried about your partners "love" for you don't. Because its not love at all it's just a deep deep infatuation with you based on and intense friendship, there's no love there.

Why can't I just be happy?

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sorry but I don't agree with that! you can't say homosexuality is wrong!!! many homosexuals have happy loving, long lasting relationships!

Why can't I just be happy?

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I think it's unwise to generalise, because in modern cultures there are plenty of women who don't want the traditional paternalistic relationship with men, i.e. they don't want a man to protect and guide them in the ways of the world, i.e. they prefer an adult to adult equal relationship where both partners take equal control and share equal responsibility for decisions made. In a same-sex female relationship, the equivalent to a paternalistic traditional relationship could be where one partner is more maternalistic and dominant than the other. With both of the above, there is going to be a risk of a Parent - Child dynamic developing which leads to one partner feeling controlled, and the other being the controlling one. Even if things don't get to that point, it might be that the person who expects to be looked after becomes disillusioned, and the one in the "Parent" role starts to feel the weight of being responsible for someone who doesn't want to accept responsibility for decisions that don't work out as expected. Imo, Adult to Adult relationships in which both partners share both control and responsibilty equally are more likely to be healthier than other types, and stand a better change of surviving the testing times that come along in relationships - whether the relationship be heterosexual or homosexual. I think judgements about same-sex relationships per-se is a separate and different issue. Sky

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