The forgotten love
Okay , So i had this boyfriend for about 3 months or so. He was my everything and i was his and we got really serious pretty fast. I told him i loved him 1st and then he said it back etc.. I remember the day so clearly , he would always pick me up from school every Fridays he was able too. Then we would hangout , talk walks , whatever. That day we got into a really bad argument, I was always usually in a bad mood when i was with him or around him because of school or other people. He would always be mad and say that i take out my anger out on him but i honestly didnt notice and it wasn't intentional. This happened a Few or more time throughout the relationship but after that day he decided it was enough. I got him really pissed off and he told me he didnt wana tlk to me until i realized what i did wrong then i said a stupid comment got him even more pissed and he broke up with me. I apolgized more then once and he wasnt having it , he told me that he loved me but he doesnt take bullshit from anyone . Hes stubborn and so am i . The fact is we dont talk anymore , and he said one day we will be friends etc , but i still want to be with him. I know i need to change my outlook and try not to be so mad all the time etc thats something i have to work on. I just wonder if its possible that in the future if we become friends we could MAYBE go out again and have a better relationship then we did. Im still in love with him and no matter who im with im always going to have that special place in my heart for him. But i seriously dont know what to do . All i know is i want a life with him by my side eventually. I know him and me need space now though ....
1st - I have feelings BUT I am not my feelings. Admitting you have a foul mood is good, take it to the next level now....get in control of it so that it does not have to impact negatively upon those closest to you.
2nd - forgive and be forgivien before anger, resentment and guilt moves in. Then let him move on and you do the same. Heard somewhere God wants to give us so much good, we just have to open our hands and let the bad things fall out so He can fill our hands with the good things.
You need to focus on yourself right now and getting these issues sorted. Otherwise you will not be able to keep a long term relationship with him or anyone else. So you should talk to your doctor about talking to someone about them and look at different ways to handle the situations when you feel that way. And then you will find yourself alot happier in relationships that you do have whether its with this guy or someone else.