How do I get him to talk to me?
I've been in a relationship with this man for over a year. We have a baby due in a couple of months, we're engaged and everything seemed to be perfect. We've never had a problem sharing anything with each other. From embarrassing stories to our sexual fantasies.
This morning after he returned from work he jumped in the shower. We had been talking about new sexual positions, since things are difficult with the pregnancy, the night before and he had told me he found this site while he was at work. I picked up his phone to view the site. I decided to look up some other sites as well. When I went to google I found out that he had searched for alot of different types of porn. He's always told me he's never really been into porn and hadn't had much need for it. I personally have never watched porn, but had told him before that if he ever wanted to watch it, I'd be more that happy to try it with him. But he refused. Said it wouldn't do anything for him.
What bothered me the most is that the porn he had looked up was disturbing to me. It wasn't normal porn. He had searched for amine rape porn, tranny porn, even some type of incest porn. I was so upset I confronted him right away. He swore on our unborn baby that it wasn't him. He said that he left his phone in his buddies car that he carpools with to work for the first 6 hours of his shift. Which I know is true since his job won't allow phones inside the building. But what really gets me is that in December I found similar searches on his old phone. Father daughter porn and tranny porn. At that time, he hadn't even been working for the company he is now.
I love him to death. And I would do anything for him, but I'm at a loss. I know he did it. I told him I believe him, but some times you just know things. And I really don't believe one of his friends would use his phone for porn. And I don't think its a coincidence that the searches match like that. I know he'll never admit to watching any porn like that, but I can't get it off my mind. What do I do?
I surely beleive and this is from experience that you must confront him with evidence of this site you have seen him viewing . evidence that he cannot deny , or evidence that he cannot do anything about but accept that he has done it . I am not askign you to go looking for such evidence but since you said you have already come across his old phone its better to confront himw ith the same. trust me babes when i say this when you have a baby coming around the last thing you need is a unhealthy relationship. you nee the confidence in him you have been having for ages. I understand totally what you mean when you say that you love this guy very much . Talk to him in a way where you actually tell him to help you understand what he is doing and why he is doing . If he is doing it out of curiosity like many men , then I think you shld just let it go but then if its a problem , deal with it with the help of a counsellor. that would help. COs come one you dont just let go the love of your life just cos he has issues. Last but not the least my comment would be just confront him with whatever you have and ask him and talk to him about the issues. Tell him you want to be a part of whatevr he is going thru . and if he seriously has a problem viewing such porn then its counsellor time.