Please read! I know its long but I really need help!!
I have a very close friend who i would really like to date but there is a complicated situation that i dont know how to get around. my name is Tim, her name is Bree. First off, we've only known each other for about a month, she was my neighbor when we were little and oddly enough i was actually her first boyfriend haha but i moved and we havnt talked since and just reunited about a month ago and we clicked right away. Im now 18 and she is 20. The problem is, her boyfriend who is her daughters father was in the psych ward when we first met again and just got back about a week and a half ago. We both like each other and we both know it, we have kissed and cuddled and stuff, ive stayed at her house a few times but we never had sex or anything. Thats the thing about her, not to make myself look bad but honestly all i look for in a girl is sex most of the time and its completely different with her, i dont want to say the big L word this quick but i like her alot and dont even care that we dont have sex, she is beautiful, independant, and is one of the best friends i have ever found. We'll like i said we bother know we like each other and have talked about dating a few times but her boyfriend Roger is the problem which i really hate because i like him too and hate to do this to him but i dont really know him well and care more about bree then him. They've been together 3 years and the reason he went to the psych ward is because he tried to kill him self last time she tried to break up with him. He just got home a week and a half ago, they live together, and she cheated on him but not with me this time, it was a girl and she broke up with him right after she told him. I want to believe she did it for me because they've been together so long and she did right when i came into the picture but im not sure because she told me she wants to stay single for a while and plus roger still lives in the house. Its hard for him to just kick him out becuase she brought him into our area from new york and he doesnt know anyone to help him get on his feet. Its a very difficult situation and i dont know how to go about it at all, the whole thing is, she still lives with her ex, she tells me she want to be with me but she doesnt act like it all the time and the thing i hate the most is she always tells me shes going to stay at my house, without me asking her and she never ends up coming over. We hang out everyday so its not like its that big of a deal to me, i just hate how she lies about it. thats not the only thing, she lies about her phone too, saying she didnt have it or it was dead when i try texting or calling her somtimes, i cath her all the time. Thats not a big deal either it just gives me mixed feeling about rather she cares for me as much as i care for her. I know its too early to be even thinking about this but i honestly think this might be the one i love, i need as much advice as i can get about this whole situation and how to deal with it, im so confused and dont know what to do or think. I never felt this way about anyone, like i said i normally just basicly use girls but she is sooo different, i havnt had sex or even talked to any other girls the entire month ive chilled with her and dont even care, im happy with her. Just incase u might be able to help me with this aswell, i often get stuck in an awkward silence when its just me and her, i just dont always know what to say and get a little shy, shes nothing like that, shes very outgoing and speaks whatever is on her mind, if u can give me any tips on opening up more it would be greatly appreciated, thank you soo much if you actually read this!!! I will take any advice you give me into consideration! thanks again, TimmyJay.
Just be a friend to her right now nothing more. It sounds like she is not sure what she wants in a relationship right now. She was with him and slept with a girl and she spends time with you but takes him back. It sounds like she needs a friend more than anything else. I wouldnt pursue a relationship with her until she is ready.