I'm not happy with my relationship but I don't want to hurt my girlfriend
I want to preface this by saying I truly love this girl. I would lay down my life for her under any circumstance and I really want her to be happy in life. The problem is that I’m not as happy as I think I could be. I’m often just as happy to spend time alone as I am with her. When we are together I constantly compare her to other girls and some of her little faults begin to drive me crazy. We are very different. She’s from a big Midwest city and I’m from a small southern town. I love the south and she hates it. I’m a hunter and she’s a vegetarian. I come from a very conservative Christian background, and I still hold most of the values that I was taught early on. I constantly worry about the influence that her viewpoints could have on our kids some day. I’ve almost broken up with her a couple of time during fights but it breaks my heart to see her cry so I always end up saying that we’ll work on our differences and try to stay together.
The situation really gets complicated when you consider her past. Sometime during elementary school she developed the disorder trichotillomania, which is a compulsive disorder where the patient uncontrollably pulls out their hair. The bullying from this disorder, coupled with severe anxiety and depression caused her to have a tough time during elementary and middle school. She attempted suicide at least once that I know of while in middle school. Once she entered high school she made some new friends and was able to control her depression. She has had very few relapses during this time.
I met her before her senior year of college while working a summer job. We started dating about 2 weeks before she had to return to school. We decided to attempt long distance dating and would talk every day. Her senior year was very stressful. She was trying to graduate early so was taking a hard course load and was having lots of problems with her roommates, who were her best friends from college. She began pulling her hair occasionally. We decided to look for graduate programs at the same schools. We were both accepted in to 2 of the same schools and because my acceptance deadline was earliest, I decided to attend the school that offered me full funding. She also had full funding from this school and decided to accept also. Once grad school began, we spent most every day together. I made lots of new friends, while she had problems getting to know other students and making close friends. She began to battle depression and began pulling her hair once again. She began to hate the area where we resided and lost motivation which resulted in her falling behind in her thesis writing. After she finished classes, her stress level lowered and she has been in remission for over a year. I am scheduled to finish up within the next couple of months while she still has at least one more semester, maybe two. She is doing so well with her disorder that I’m afraid that if I end things between us that she will relapse. She constantly says that I’m her best friend and she doesn’t want a world without me in it. I want her to be happy but I want to be happy too. What do I do?
to be honest i sort of understand what your going through my step mom has that same disorder aswell. but i dont think you should be with her if your not happy and i know your worried about what will happen if she takes it bad but you should just try and make her understand that even though you are no longer together you will still be friends thats if your ok with that. also if your personalities are really different i dont think it will work out well cause the same thing happened with my best friend and they both ended up cheating on eachother but thankfully they are still friends to this day. sorry if i was helpful i just write what i think.