PeoplesProblems Logo

I'm having an affair

Default profile image
I'm a married man. I've been married for 20 years. I love my wife. I have 3 grandsons. Two dogs. A lovely house all bought and paid for. A decent job and a comfortable active lifestyle. Two years ago I received a friend request on Facebook from an old school friend. A woman. We started to reminisce about our schooldays and then exchanged mobile phone numbers. Our texts and chats became sexual and we eventually met up. We have been seeing each other and I've fallen in love with her. I think about her constantly and want to be with her. However, my relationship with my wife is still good. Our intimacy has faded but we're friends. My grandsons love me and I love them. I feel I would lose them should this affair become public. What do I do? I understand the morals of it but I also know that I want happiness. The thought of losing either one scares me to death and is making me ill. The funny thing is I think men like me are fools. Am I a fool? Should I stick with the familiar and be a good husband or should I start from scratch with this wonderful woman? Please help?

I'm having an affair

Default profile image
in life you got to know what you want ...you have been married for 20 years so why would you want to throw those 20 years of your life away . is it that you get something from her that your wife cannot give to you then why would it took you 20 years to realized that but then again obviously the friend but a spark in your life maybe something that your wife did not put in but my advise to is don't throw away the relationship with your wife. its been 20 years of ups and down with her ... its not a guarantee it will reach that far with that friend. remember ... life great purpose is for one to mess up ... and if you are one of them who throw away old for new than you are considered ungrateful... don't be a fool or u will live with lot of remorse ...

I'm having an affair

Default profile image
Hi Daina, thanks for your advice. I think I already knew the answer deep down but it was good to have it confirmed. I've been selfish and I need to wake up and sort this out.

I'm having an affair

Default profile image
My partner had a female friend he used to chat to online, on few occassions they also cybersexed, masturbated on cam but they never met & as time went on we became a couple,heard less of her, nearly 2.5years later I found out that he got back in touch with her last year, they reminised for 4 hrs including inappropriate chats & how he was unhappy being with me, I was deeply shocked when i saw what he had wrote about me aswell as their sexual flirtings for each other. The chats continued, not only flirting but everyday chats, she even gave him contact number & her address .....I had used his phone last month and activated facebook unknown to me it opened his facebook instead, so....I checked his messages, (yes I know I shouldnt have snooped) & there it was then I was deeply shocked to see he had been in touch with her over a year....each time he kept telling her he was unhappy with me.......but at home he is adorable, loveable & we are a family & share a home....I was devastated what i had seen, so I confronted him, I asked him if he had ever flirted with anyone in our relationship & he said no, in the end I told him i had seen messages on his phone, he assured me "that nothing was going on" & that "they were just friends" I feel he had betrayed me, crossed the boundaries in our relationship, chatted to this woman behind my back, he made no attempt to make us as friends nor tell her i am not "just his girlfriend" but his partner & all along I thought he was happy with me, not according to what he wrote to her, but at home he is happy,.....he even told this woman that i have accused him of emotional cheating and she laughed,.....eventually i told him to send me a copy of the chat log if nothing was going on.....yes he sent me but later on I found out he deleted some of the messages....it all seems so surreal, but it hurts.... Eventually he came clean, yes he enjoyed the attention of this other woman but he realised when i said i was leaving him hes been playing a foolish game.........we are working things out but its hard, i cringe everytime he uses the pc or looks at his phone. He has deleted her.......so he says..... for me, I feel i have become an emotional wreck, its been a horrid nightmare, its made me feel terrible inside... Dont do this to your family......the wonderful woman is the one that has been with you for 20 years.....

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-3