Need some real advice
My problem is that I am 24 years old, I have been married for 4 years now and have been with my husband for 5 years, we have a daughter that is 4 years old. When i married my husband it was because I was pregnant. The problem is that he is just selfish and childish. He has done drugs ever since I met him. He lies to me about everything. He has cheated on me multiple times. He doesn't do anything he just sits at home and plays video games. He is always treating me badly. He calls me names, and puts me down constantly. I have only been in one other relationship and while it wasn't really a bad relationship he also cheated on me. I left him for my husband and I think that it may have been the worst mistake of my life. I got pregnant the first time we ever had sex and I choose to stay with him. I dont want to leave him but I am getting to my limit, I will admit that I am not the best person, sometimes I yell and scream at him, and other times I will call him names, but I never used to be like that. it is just that after 4 years of being put down, screamed out and told that I am not good enough, I dont care if I hurt his feelings anymore, I feel like I want to leave but he has tried to OD before when I left and I feel that if I leave and something does happen I will have that on my conscience I just dont know what to do anymore
Hi Jenn -
Well to be honest it seems to me like you've already made up your mind - you want to leave - your problem is that you want someone to tell you to do it.
First of all - a decision like that has to be all your own. Only you fully understand your situation, and any decision you make must be yours and yours alone. And you must be prepared to accept the consequences.
However. Nobody deserves to be in an abusive relationship (physical or mental) - and that goes both ways. If neither of you are happy then it can be best sometimes to just split.
But you have to consider your daughter. When Children are involved I'm a believe in that fact that they have to come first.
BUT - that doesn't mean staying. If the relationship is upsetting her then this strengthens your case.
However - you mention he is doing drugs. An easy way our is to definitely leave - children should not be exposed to this kind of abuse - but then again perhaps he needs help? Have you considered that?
You need to have it out. Sit down and have an adult (sober, defintely sober! ) conversation with him.
Write down your feelings and grievences - this will help stop your emotions getting in the way - in fact a letter in place of an actual conversation can sometimes help.
Leaving a relationship is always hard - more so when kids are involved, but sometimes it can be the best thing to do.