Me and my ex dated for three years. We were each others first everything and also each others best friends. The last few months have been rocky, I just began college and felt it was important to make time for friends, leaving him out. and not putting much effort into our relationship. We started to become more distant, And not intimate anymore. I knew this upset him, he told me all the time but i just assured him i was tired and we would be fine. He really tried doing different things to put spark back into our relationship, but i ignored it. During our easter break I didnt hear from him after he told me we would have a movie night one of the nights, when i called him he told me we needed to talk. he told me he wasnt happy, i went to visit him that night and we talked he didnt seem happy but he decided to give it another shot. He arranged to meet me that weekend but he called me saying again he wasnt happy, he ended things over facebook. He would be very hard to get hold of during those two weeks. He told me he didnt miss me either and didnt know if that was because he was busy with his study or meant something more serious. we met in person the following week, he told me we had our time but it was at the end, he wanted to focus more on family and friends and college work, he didnt want a relationship. We had a coffee and he brought me back to his were we watched a movie, he kept giving me mixed signals like calling me his pet name and stuff. Then i got upset over the whole situation and he began to cry saying how we needed this but of course he wanted to try again. My lift came so when I was leaving he chased after me nd held me really tight. After that we went no contact for two weeks, i then mailed him on fb asking how he was, he was very short and distant. My friend called me during the week to tell me he saw my ex leaving the cinema with another girl, I was heartbroken, I didnt react well and called him, he drove out to my place and when i asked him did he go to the cinema with her, he said yes, he told me he doesnt see her like that and she was only a friend (I never knew her the four years i knew him) he then told me he found her interesting. he took me for a drive, we spoke for four hours and during that talk he told me he wants me i his life, im like family (I was very close to his family) and he wants to introduce me to future girlfriends! I couldnt believe that, i asked him did he miss us atal and he got upset saying course he did! He theb told me me and him can still have moive nights alone. He dropped me home telling me he missed being at my house and will drop out to see how im doing. he organised to meet me the following week and piggy promised me hed never leave me. id always have him. he then txt me that night saying goodnight and called me his pet name. Two days later he messaged me asking how my new job was going. I messaged him telling him it was to upsetting pretending to be friends, he told me that we always agreed to be friends and i was throwing it in his face, he wanted to meet with me one on one even if we both had new ppl in our lives. I said no, i told him if he ever needed me he knew my number and where i lived, and to that he never responded to, so i blocked him on facebook. I havent heard from him since and that was two weeks ago, and in those two weeks a friend called to say she spotted him and that girl together again and he was kissing her. We were together 3 years and he couldnt drive to my house a 10 min drive to make things work, but hed drive to meet this new girl which was a 35 min drive. Im devastated, I havent heard from him since. We have lots of mutual friends so we will bump into each other again. I just need someone opinion, Thank you so much for your time x
I'm really sorry to tell you, and I know it's probably not something you want to hear but: I think it's over. In his heart, it was probably over for him when he told you that you needed to talk.
When you started to become distant, it may have felt to him that you were choosing other things in your life over him. He was feeling rejected. That's when he started to let go. Of course, it's going to be hard for him to severe the relationship between you two completely because you two have such a past, but that poison was already laid within his heart.
The truth is that he chose another girl over you, another girl after you, thus reciprocating that feeling of rejection. Even if you two were to start up a relationship again, do you think the love between you two is strong enough to overcome this kind of taintedness?
If you truly think it was, then may your relationship is worth a second shot because that kind of love is truly rare.