Should I leave him and move on? Or should I stay?
Hi, im having trouble with my relationship. My bf and his friends calls me immature for leaving him. But the reason why i left him because of his attitude. He lied to all the time and always do the things i dont like. He promised me more than a hundred times that he wont hurt me or lie to again. But then he did it again. And he denies it all the time and keep on saying that he's been set up! Whenever i caught him red handed, he will denies it and not admitting it. And yes i did something to hurt him like go out with other guys just so he appriciates me even more. But nothings change. I told him that i want to break up with him and he thinks that im immatured. Yes he has been treating me good i admit it but how long must i tolerate with him? He never gave up on me when i left him. But he like to hurt me over and over again. He promised me not to hurt me but he lied. Its been 2 years 3 months now. Should i leave him and move on? Am i immature for leaving him? Please help. Need advise on this
I think first of all you were int the wrong for cheating on him. You did nothing but make the situation worst. I'm not saying that the entire thing was your fault but, you shouldn't have tried to Hirt him because he hurt you. Could you see yourself having a future with him? You obviously left him for a reason. Are you going to sacrifice and go back to that? You guys just don't seem like a good match. Sorry. You can talk to me if you need anything. He's seem like a real jerk, and you seem like you made some wrong decisions. Don't let him or his friends get to you.
Thanks ALLIE987. I admit i shouldnt do that. But i dont know what else i should do to make him appriciate me even more. I did try doing something nice, love him with all my heart. But he is just the same. I made up my mind to leave him. But the thing about him, he will never give up on me. He wont let me go. Even if i told him we already broke up, he still wont let me go. I tried not picking up his calls or reply to his text. The next day he is already under my apartment waiting for me stalking me. What should i do?
If I may ask. What exactly did he do to have upset you that had caused the break up? Reason why I ask is because I have once been on the same boat. Where I was the guy who had repeatedly done something which I promised I would stop, but had a difficult time stopping. It wasn't involving cheating or sleep around, just some bad habits. Since I am uncertain of what he did to have caused the breakup, I'm just going to use my case as an example. If the guy really loves you and cared for you, he'll do whatever it takes to stop hurting you. There's no "too much coincidence." I stopped my bad habits because I respected my girl friend. It was difficult, so we tried to work something out together by communicating. With that being said, have you tried communicating with him? A serious sit down conversation? He should know that you feel strongly for him because he never gave up on the relationship despite the fact that you were getting hurt. However, at the same time you (the guy) keep destroying the relationship by hurting me. You leave me standing between the crossroads of not knowing which path to take. If you really want this to work which I feel at certain times you do, you need to stop hurting me. I would love to see a future between us, but it's just not going to happen if I am forever being hurt. Put the ball back onto his court and make him think and realize what he's done. Perhaps the decision needs to be made by him, not you. Do not go out with other guys just to hurt him. You might give others false hope to someone that really cares and likes you, but your motive for the date was just to hurt your current bf and get him jealous.
Hi COLA, its about his bad habits too. He has never respect me as his girlfriend. I understand he had a very bad past but that was before he is with me. But because he was too comfortable with it, its very hard for him to stop but he didnt at all. We ever argued about this before but he just dont care about how i feel. He did promise to stop, but he lied. I just dont understand why isit so hard for him to just control himself? Its like his everyday routine entertaining his bad habits. We fought about the same thing over and over again for 2 years 3 months. He told me he love me and he will change but he didnt prove to me at all. Whenever i caught him red handed, he just keep on denying. Yes we did sit down and talk about it and i cried my lungs out. And yes he promise me again he wont do it and wont hurt me. I just dont know how to explain it here. there are other things that got to do with his "bad habits" which i cant share it here. Our relationship starts to get worse. I cant stand it anymore and ask for break up. He start to throw hurtful words to me, threatening me that he will do something to make me regret for the rest of my life. Which he already did and i have to face it for the rest of my entire life. He did apologize to me for what he did but nothing change. He is still the same. He said that i didnt give him the chance to change but actually i did. I really did. How long do i need to give him room to change? Another few more years? I gave him plenty of time to change, gave him too many chances to make things right but he didnt use the chance wisely. And right now he is giving me time to change myself, to grow up and start to think maturedly. I find our relationship is not getting any better. Im so confuse now am in the wrong? About me going out with other guys yes i know i shouldnt do that. But what should i do to make him appreciate me? What should i do to make him change? Currently im not sure whether we are still together or not. He told his friends his giving me and himself time.
I think you actually know the answer/solution to your problem. Sometimes we already know the answer, but have a difficult time accepting it. Is he your first? And obviously you really care about him. Because it sounds like you gone through a lot. Although I uncertain of how your relationship was or is, I wouldn't say that you are acting immaturely about the issue as you had mentioned that he thinks you need to "grow up." I think you are being brave and taking initiative in dealing with the issue. I think you should consider leaving him. Although he isn't abusing you physically, he is emotionally which could just be as bad. The time away from each other might allow him to realize what he is missing. This might be a "healthier" way in hopes that he would appreciate you even more. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in being there for love ones, however there is a limit. The person must be willing to help themselves first. For example, if my gf is heavily into drugs and she is trying to quit but can not. I would still be there for her because she is trying and meeds my support. But if she claims that she is trying and I find her not helping herself I would be disappointed. If she really cared about us, she would try and stop. Like they say, you have to be able help yourself first before others can help you. All of this is just my opinion. I don't want to jeopardize your relationship after all I am an outsider. I'm only commenting from what you mentioned. At the end, the decision is yours.