My husband is 68 and impotent due to diabetes. He has tablets- similar to Viagra to take but they give him headaches and make him feel generally unwell for a few hours after we have made love. As a result we only have sex about every 4-6 weeks. I find this very frustrating but as I don't won't to cause him any further stress I haven't complained. However, a couple of days ago I discovered that while I was at work ( he is retired ) he has been looking at porn on our lap top. I cannot tell you how upset I am- I feel so hurt and upset. He first said he only did it out of curiousity but after I discovered he had made several vists to the web site he admitted it was to achieve ' a stirring in his loins'! I really don't know if I can forgive him- I am not unattrative and have always been ready to try new tricks in the bedroom so why has he done this to me? He has apologised but I can't stop crying and can't make love to him because I am sure that he is thinking of youger sexier women with bigger breasts and better bodies. I don't know wahat to do. Please help.
Ugh! I had the same issue with a boyfriend of mine. He liked porn way too much and he didn't see why I had a problem with it. Since it bothers you so much and you guys are married you should tell him. And maybe lock him out of the lap top! Lol
I would never defend a mans actions when it ones to watching porn. I had to learn the hard way my self on this issue. It's not the porn you should be upset about because men need visual aids! They can not stay focused on an act without a visual. The other part is ... Watching porn daily may give him those daily boners that make him feel like he don't need the pills to get hard! It's a huge blow to a mans ego that they can not get erect and I had to learn, again the hard way to back off my jealous rage about the porn and let him try to naturally gain back what he has lost. To feel better about the fact that he watches, I asked him if he watches, and he said yes honestly w out hesitation or fear of hurting me. I accepted that because he could have lied right to my face. He has NO access to the women he sees in porn. Truthfully I am sure those women would not want him or his issue with erections. Accept that he is dealing with this problem the best way men know how... Loooooooking. I would rather have him home watching porn than in a strip club spending household bill money being touched by strange women. Take a page out of my book, watch porn with him or start watching it yourself. You will be surprised what it will do. I watch too,, mostly by myself, because we might have sex once every 6 months! Love him thru his problem, but don't let him know it bothered you. You both will be fine.
If you can't beat him, join him. Maybe this is what you need to start to get in the mood again. Not necessarily you, but him. Locking him out as if he was a child will just make matters worth and start arguments. Try it, maybe it'll be something spicy for you too. You should ba allowed to see men then too.
That things about men need visuals is bullshit. The need for porn is a social construct and totally unsubstantiated. If he was using porn to improve sex with you that would be one thing but it doesn't sound like you are getting anything. I would suggest counseling. If you scorn him for it and tell him how bad it makes you feel he will get upset and withdrawal more, it helps when it comes from an outsider or professional. And get a vibrator for yourself then have big loud orgasms
I don't think porn is so bad just as long as he's not addicted to it. And I doubt that his looking at porn has anything to do with hsi feeling for you or your sexual relationship.
If the pills aren't working for his erection, you two need to meet with the doctor and find other, fool-proof means of erection. An implanted pump, for instance. Make a doctors appointment as soon as possible.