Lies ruining my relationship
I'm currently having problems within my relationship, I've been with my partner two years and when we got together he had just stopped taking drugs. He promised me he was done. I moved away to university and all was fine until a month ago when we were arguing and he told me that he had been smoking weed on and off for 6 months. It literally broke my heart, I constantly told him how proud I was for him stopping and he accepted it and seemed chuffed at himself. So basically lied to my face over and over. I'm finding it hard to get over the lying but he clearly cannot be trusted. He blames the people he hangs around with, and I can't tell him to stop seeing his friends. We had planned moving in together in the next few months which I'm putting on hold. I just can't trust him so is there any point being together?
I was in that situation before. The difference was thy I was the one who told lies to my gf at that time that I had stopped smoking, wasn't weed, it was cigarettes. It was exactly the same where I find myself smoking the most when I was with my friends. I told her I stopped, but she discovered a pack in my bag once and she grew upset with me because I lied. We didn't talk for days, that's when I knew how much it meant to her that I need to quit. We finally communicated and so once again I tried to quit. She did not leave me, but only because I understood how much I her hurt and how much he meant to me that we communicated and found a equal am easier way to help me stop smoking. By communicating and finding an easier transition/solution to help me stop smoking helped out relationship. Does he rely on weed for any medical purpose? I'm not saying that you should allow him to smoke and disregard your feelings and wants, but perhaps you can communicate with him in seeing if there's an easier way for him I stop. "Cold turkey," I admit is difficult especially if he has done it for quite sometime. Overall, if he really values the relationship, he should know when the stopping point should be. I'm not saying that he doesn't care or value you, but sometimes habits are difficult to stop. Try to communicate with him one more time. And it was smart on your end to hold off the moving. During the conversation make sure you place the decision back to his court by telling him, if you really want our relationship to last as we had planned you need I respect my wants. A relationship goes both ways not one. Let him decide because it seems as though you still care for him and want the relationship to work. Perhaps the hold off with the moving in can be the time for him to reflect and really think. Not a break up, but just some time a part for both of you to think if it's going to work. One thing is for certain, if you really want to stop a bad habit you can't blame your surroundings. The person has to draw the boundary and commit to it. And that is if the person is determine to .