I'm confused and going crazy!
I have known this friend for over ten years. The thing I when I was younger I had no interest...I was 21 when I met him. I have been with my (now ex-husband) for 9 years and about 3 years ago, I kissed this friend of mine. Not a problem for me, as me & my husband were having major problems. I felt a little guilty but after I couldnt stop thinking about him. Anyways, we forgot about it and didnt bring it up again and we continued as friends that met up every now & then and got on with our lives. Well this time last year, this friend got together with a girlfriend of mine. I didnt want it to happen but it did. ... I was genuinely happy for them at first when they began to date. But I knew that my girlfriend didnt like him after a while. She would slag him and say he annoys her. Meanwhile, while we were all hanging out together I got to know him better and fell absolutely head over heels for him. I cant stop thinking about him. Its ridiculous, I feel like a 16 year old! Me & my husband has since decided to part ways. The best for the both of us we agree. However now that Im single my girlfriend has decided that now she wants my friend more than ever and has been hanging out of him and started sleeping with him again.....Im distraught. I spend a weekend with all of us friends together and I couldnt be alone with the two of them, it actually broke my heart... Im feeling more lose for him then I am for my husband, Its crazy. The whole relationship we have is friends but its strange on so many levels. Now & then I think that he may have feelings for me too. The usual stuff happens with us that friends would go through. We like so much of the same things, we make each other laugh with the same humour. But the connection is so strange on another level....for example when he told me he woke up in a cold sweat one night, saying this never happens to him....I nearly dropped. The exact same thing happened to me same night the night before. And when I woke up he popped into my head for no reason. Some random thing popped into my head later that day while sitting together and he actually turned around and said exactly what I was thinking about. I swear it scared the shit out of me. It happens a lot though and I really cant explain it. When hes around I feel this strange invisible connection I cant explain like I need to touch him and have him near me....I really dont know what to do! Its like there's these signs everywhere. I try to get him out of my head and something randomly will happen that will have some connection. (and no its not that im trying to make a connection!) Im feel like Im going crazy! Do i tell him my feelings?? The only risk I fear is making it uncomfortable for our group and hurting my friend (although i am pretty sure she doesnt like him but may have picked up on the fact that theres something there with us) I feel like im going crazy!! Please help. Any advice would be very grateful!!
Perhaps you should talk to your friend about it before you talk to him. It seems the kindest option (for you as well, as I'm sure you don't want to hurt her or him), even if she doesn't seem to like him any more. You also need to consider how much it would hurt you (and him) if you did confess your feelings to him while he was still attached, and if you're willing to sacrifice your friendship with him if he doesn't feel the same way. I'm sorry there's no easy answer to this.