Should I tell him the truth? Please help
I've been going out with my boyfriend for a little under a year now, and I love him very much. This is my first serious relationship, which he knows, but he doesn't know that he was the first person I ever had sex with. I think I lied to him initially out of habit and embarrassment, and losing my virginity was in no way a major thing to me. I added more lies to this when we talked about previous experience however (I'm not entirely sure why to be honest), and I wouldn't know how to explain to him why I lied like this. We have a very solid, loving relationship but lately I have been wondering whether I should come clean. I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want him to be hurt or upset (I know, I shouldn't have lied in the first place). Do you think it would be better to tell him or not? I think I need an outside opinion.
I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm 39 so please take my advice with some certainty that I know what I'm talking about.
Really, I don't think he NEEDS to know. But if you feel that you MUST tell him because you can't live with the dishonesty, this is what I would suggest. I would think that he would end up being flattered by the fact that you chose to wait for someone that you really cared about, that being him. You could even throw a bit of humour into it by saying something like, "Well hey, you 'broke in a virgin' how does it feel?". Also, if it was a good loving and safe experience, tell him that. It will make him feel great, and probably bring you even closer.
If he does have an issue with the fact that you lied about it just explain to him exactly why you did ie. you felt embarressed etc. and you were just worried about what he'd think. To be honest most guys love the fact that they were some girls first time. I's just a bit of shame that you both couldn't experience your first time together, let him know that to, that you regret the lie for that reason as well. I hope this helps. Let me know.