I have been in a relationship for 16yr with my 2 kids' father. 2 of the years we were broke up due to cheating on each other throughout the years. In those 16 years, I met a man. I have been seeing him for 8 years now. We are in love and I still love my kids' father. During my 2 year break up, me and the 8year guy have gotten very close. My kids father has changed since and has been trying to get back with me for several months now. I havent been giving him the time of day until recently because I was still with the 8yr guy. The 8 yr guy has 4 kids with a woman he lives with. When we met, we were both going thru difficulties in our relationships. Even after i broke up from my kids father, he was still with his lady/mother of his kids. Now i have told my kids father that we can get back together because i seen him falling for another lady. The 8yr guy has been kind of treating me bold because he gives out his # to other women, he used to txt/call me at night but it seems like he doesnt care if im at home or not lately. All in all, the 8yr guy has changed so i left. Now he begs me back saying he realized that he wasnt givin me the attention that i was used to and said that if i come back, he would move from his kids mother. If i dont come back to him, he said he will just marry her. But im scared he will hurt me by being involved with another woman or marrying his kids mother. My kids father isnt a go-getter. Its like he needs too much help with this and that. They both told me i need to find out what i want but i dont know what to do. Should i go back to 8yr with his situation, or should i be with my kids father who has been unfaithful for many years like i have. Kids father told me he would just marry me and do better.
i would get marriage counseling with your baby daddy, and walk away from the 8yr guy. Im sorry hun but you can't have your cake and eat it too, and also time to shit or get off the pot. Not being mean please dont take it that way. Its hard to trust someone who's cheated. you both have so you both are going to always questions one anothers intentions. I suggest working on things, go to counseling, spending time together with him and your family more and rekindle the spark that brought you together in the first place, its still there you just have to find. i know someone married for 23 years and both cheated, both got back together, and both are happier now then they have ever been. but you have to get rid of the 8yr. im sorry. you just do.