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Is there hope for us?

Posted by
JOYFUL
on Jun 22 2013 at 07:01
Member since: 22 June 2013
Relationship advice I would like to know if there is hope to salvage my relationship with my boyfriend. Please be honest. We have been together for about 6 months. Initially, he was always the one to initiate texting with me and till May, he said he will have a new jobscope at work and would be very busy. Since then, he hasn't been texting me much and he is so busy at work that we meet about 4-5 weeks once. He needs to work overtime and also busying with his exams. But i believe that even if busy, can't be busy 24/7? Surely will have some time in between? I still think i am not unreasonable because if we cannot meet, surely we should chat through text messages so that there is at least communication? It only depends on whether he wants to make the effort or not. And so, i got a little worried. Wanted to call him but i thought it will seem irritating so i text him instead. But he seldom response, so the more he didn't reply, the more i got worried and start texting him more and more until almost every hour, there is a few messages from me from as early as 6am plus till as late as 1am plus. He would reply me 2 days once, with short messages saying he is busy or just randomly answer some of my questions. And when i asked him when are we meeting, he would say "maybe wednesday? See how". Then when wednesday comes, we are not even meeting. It happens a few times already. And of course when he cannot meet me, i would meet up with my friends and there was once, a stranger texted me asking me whether is my gucci bag still for sale because he got the number wrongly as the seller online has a number very close to my number. And this seller conveniently texted and said that i am very pretty and of cos out of courtesy, i replied a few of his messages. I showed this to my boyfriend through text causally. He wasn't very happy and he said i was flirting with him. And when i asked my boyfriend when are we meeting, he would say i seem like i cannot stand boredom. He would also asked if i meet up with any guys alone after the last time we met. So anyway, after him ignoring so many of my texts, i felt abit angry cos he has no time to meet me + didn't reply my texts. There was a Sunday when i kept texting him and he replied "Can we don't text for now? I need a nap. Thanks." How would i know he was sleeping? That was like 10am+ and he told me that he needs to work on that day. I thought he was working that's why i texted. And if he afraid that he would be disturbed, obviously he could silence his phone isn't it? And when i was planning to meet him during one weekend and i asked him if he would be free (since he has finished his exams), he then told me he is going to malaysia with his colleagues. He could have told me beforehand so i could plan my own schedule right? So if i didn't ask, he wouldn't have tell me at all? So i thought i have enough of this. So i texted him quite a number of messages one day and asking him if there is anything, he can tell me rather than ignoring my messages and in the end i have to keep texting and making him more annoying. So after that he replied. He said that "maybe we just be frens ok?" He said he can't stand it when i keep texting him and thus, find our characters do not match. So i asked him to tell me honestly what is it besides me keep texting him. And he said, texting, chats and thinking.. and he feels that i like to give guys chance even when i am attached. So i asked him to state an example and he said he can tell from the way i chatted with the bag buyer online. He said his previous ex-gf won't even bother to talk to them much but i still can chat with him until very good friends. And he sarcastically said "never mind, now they got chance already cos i am single". After that, he said he will be busy till next week and sorry, just feel character not suitable. He said he wants to focus on work but i always disturb him, he wants to sleep also woken up by me in early morning. I felt that he maligned me so i told him i am not interested in the bag buyer, if he doesn't like me to reply then i will not. And i also apologised for texting him so many times and i asked him to let me try out for a month, if i do it again then that's it. And he said "a month? within this month i want to look for other guy friends?" He also said he can anticipate, when he go malaysia, i will keep texting him, disturb him, ask this and that, say this and that. I kept on assuring him that i will not. Then he said : "ok lah, i am going to get busy now, next week after your trip then we contact again" (because i told him i am going for a trip). Then, i also reassured him that i will wait for him and i have no other guys and i have no intention to find. He then said if i have any guy, must tell him and he also said maybe cos there are no suitable candidate now that's why i said that, when a good guy comes, i will not feel this way. Sigh, i keep reassuring him i will not and he said "ok lah, we chat next time, i am going to get busy till next week". So in order not to continue to disturb him, i asked him to promise me not to say be friends again. Then he said "ok we see how k, enjoy your trip" But i was so afraid that i will lose him so i told him cannot see how because...... then he kept asking me "because of what?? say lah.." So i said "because i love you? so sorry to make you upset". Then he said :oh.. :) ok lah, i go and get busy now, we don't text for the time being ok? Alot of things to do" So i said ok. It has been a week from now. I intend to text him next week. I also read advices online from various forums. All gave the same advice, that is not to text him for now. There is still hope in the relationship. I just need to change my behaviour. Don't do the things he doesn't like. In my case, would be the texting and talking to other guys. What do all of you think? Is there still hope for me??? I am so upset over the past few days, yet i do not want to text him. Cos if i do, i will be even harder to salvage this relationship. Futhermore, he already said don't chat for the time being. I hope he will initiate to text me since it has been a week. And i believe despite him feeling annoyed by my texts, he should have miss me abit during this 8 days that i have not been texting him? Please advice me on what i should do next..... Thanks so much!
Is there hope for us?
Reply from
NCL13
on Jun 23 2013 at 02:53
Member since: 23 June 2013
I understand from how much you have written that his is getting to you. I had a boyfriend who was exactly the same. I had loads of time for him and made an effort and he had no time for me. I was the one who was busy with exams he was doing nothing. Forget about him, you shouldn't have to text him all the time to get an answer, yes people are busy but not answering or just sending short answers is lazy and uncaring, i'm sorry but if he cared he would try harder and care about your feelings. Ask yourself do you want to chase him forever and be treated like dirt or take the plunge move on and meet someone else someone who is worth all the effort. Ignore him please and take care of your own feelings or you will be miserable. I know what i'm talking about I wasted years.
Is there hope for us?
Reply from
JOYFUL
on Jun 23 2013 at 04:42
Member since: 22 June 2013
Thank you for your reply... i know that.. alot of my friends said it depends on what i want, whether i can endure not meeting or texting him often... maybe i am not understanding? maybe he is really under lots of pressure at work? Texting him almost every hour is really insane.. BUT he could just reply me and tell me he is busy, instead of just ignoring. At least i know what is going on. By ignoring me gives me a feeling that he is not interested in me. Your advice is to give him up but he has everything that i want in a boyfriend or future husband. Career, hardworking, doesn't club, drink and smoke, homely type. The only thing is he doesn't have time for me. It's hard to find someone like this in this era now. Do you think i should give it another chance? Sigh.

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