Am I overreacting?
My fiance and I have been together almost four years. It has had it ups and downs as I expect any relationship does. However, lately things seem to just be getting worse and worse. I am almost to the breaking point and have thought about leaving several times. We are at a very stressful point, but if we can't work together to get through that stress then what is the point? Everything seemed to be going good until I started nursing school. The school I go to is one of the top in the state so it is very demanding. While getting my per-reqsites in, I was taking 16 hours of classes AND working a full time split shift 30 minutes away from where we lived. (7am-11am then 5pm-9pm, plus 2 hours of driving per day) During this time he also expected me to do all the cleaning, dishes, clothes, and a majority of the cooking ... basically everything. We would even have to pay someone to take care of the outside of the house cutting grass and such. Here is the kicker. He doesn't work!! He says at home all day long and from the time he gets up until the time he lays down he is on his computer mainly playing computer games. Every now and then he will fix a computer or two for money, but many times I am even expected to help him with that. Once I actually got into the nursing program it self, I had to quit my job and depend on student loans to pay the bills. The program is so demanding that I just did not have time to keep up with everything by myself, plus try to take care of aging parents, plus try to be a good mother to my daughter. I thought when it got bad enough, he would "put his big boy pants on" and help me out. WRONG. We were looking for a place to move so we could get out of the bad neighborhood and be close to my daughter's school. She had been staying with my parents so she could go to school and I could make it to clinicals. Plus, we didn't feel safe in the location where we lived. We finally found a place we thought we could afford. I had a little less than a month left in school before summer. So, keep in mind this was around finals time. Well, instead of helping me, he let the house get so bad that he just moved out to stay with a friend near the new house and left me in the ghetto by myself to finish out the school year. Since moving to the new house things have just seemed to go down hill. Again this summer I am taking a full class load, which is like taking double full time because it is in half the amount of time. He stays on me about cleaning and dishes and seems to get an attitude when he cooks ... of course, if you has him he will tell you that he doesn't have an attitude. We rarely even have sex anymore because he claims he is worried about his "size" because he says it has shrunk since he has gotten fat. Or either he is too tired, like his computer games have worn him out ... I can tell him what tired really is, and that isn't it!! He says he doesn't get a job for two reasons. 1. He has severe panic attacks. I have witnessed them and usually on the rare occasion we go out, he will have one to the point of throwing up. 2. He is a convicted felon, so it is hard for him to find a job that will hire him. There is so much more I could go into like never getting to go anywhere or how if I need to eat out between classes how he gets jealous and makes a deal over how he doesn't get to eat out. Which he is usually asleep anyway during the day because he was up all night playing computer games. I am a gamer also, but I know when to cut it off. This week has just really gotten to me because my dad was in the hospital, and he is my mother's primary caretaker. So, that made me the primary care taker for both of them and they were an hour drive away from each other. When I stayed over night with my mom I was made to feel guilty because I wasn't home. If I ate out, I was made to feel guilty because I ate out and he didn't. I am just about ready to call it quits, but we really used to have a great time together. We used to be a team. We used to be in love. He is just letting his selfishness, jealously, attitude, view on women, and gaming come between us. Can anyone tell me how to get my partner back? Or am I over reacting?
Hello the way he is acting you need to go ahead and leave him alone. You are doing things for your self and your daughter while he sits his lazy butt at home all day and then expects you to do home duties. He has really lost his mind. You are not his personsl maid. To me it sounds like he is using you for a free ride. He needs to step it up and become a MAN for his fiance and daughter or he needs to kick rocks.