Am I worrying over nothing
I have been with my partner for 7 yrs about 3yrs ago he was diagnosed with ms which i think we have coped with very well. The issue at the moment is that he joined a support group about 4mths ago and one of the things they had to do was to pair up with another member and do an activaty together he got stuck with a lady so they decided to go swimming once a week which was not a problem, then he started talking about her alot and phoning her and then visiting her at home, i asked him if there was more than friendship with her and he said no it was just nice to talk to someone who understood ms, he invited her to a firework display we went to so i could meet her, and i found that she was nice, we bought her xmas present and i thought everything was ok until i found an email from her saying can they forget about what happened and go back to being as b4(friends) i asked my partner what happened and he said that when he went to her house with crimbo pressie they were sitting on the sofa and she tried to kiss him he said she was embarrased and he left, ive asked him not to see or speak to her any more and he has agreed but i now feel i have no trust in him and that he is calling her while at work and that he will see her at weekends when im at work (he says he has cleared her numb from his phone but i think he has put it under another name) he also has now starting carrying his phone around with him indoors which he never done b4. he doesnt seem to understand why im so angry and upset,should i phone her and ask her why she thought she could do that and does she realise how much hurt she has caused or should i just try and forget about it.
you are right to be suspicious that carrying the phone around is so you cant get it i reckon thats listed as one of the cheating partner signs. phone her no go and see her and ask for an explanation and take your friend you could arrive at first and say were a bit worried about him has he said anything to you
Thanks for the reply, the only problem i have is that i don't know where she lives.(he never said and i was never invited) After i posted my problem something happened at home and we had an arguement and she came into it, he swore on his mothers life that he had not been in contact with her since i asked him not to, he also said that he did nothing to encourage the situation, and that he would tell me if any contact is made, i have managed to see his phone and her number has gone, but there is something else i have since then found a receipt for a diamond necklace which was purchased at the end of november, i did not receive it at crimbo and i know that other members of the family or friends did not get it as well, i have not mentioned this yet as my birthday is coming up soon so i will see if i receive it then (if not what do i do).
I think that you should phone her and ask her about it. maybe she could be more truthful towards you than your partner can, and see if you can find out if they are still in touch. and if they are then he has been lying to you and is out of order. If i was in that position which believe me i have been i would call her.
ok, this is a hard one isnt it.. its very very easy to assume the worst in people, especially if you love that person dearly and then suddenly something happens that you can not directly relate too, therefore the fact he has found someone, particularly a woman to relate to that makes it even harder. it sounds very innocent on his part, in the sense it could very well be true that he did not respond to her kissing... and maybe him carrying his phone around gives him a sense of control over things in his life, especially since you have doubted him..maybe he is feeling a bit hurt u doubted him...or the worst case, he could be hiding something. i think you have played things very well so far..bide your time and wait till your birthday to see if you recieve the diamond necklace...if not then you have every single right to voice concern. explain that you feel very cut out from his life since his diagnosis, and it feels like this woman is taking over...demand an explanation..dont be angry to begin with - ur gut feeling will tell you what are lies and what is the truth.
if the worst does happen, fingers crossed it is a misunderstanding..then as hard as it is, try to see it from his point of view..maybe deep down he fears his illness will one day make you leave him - insecurity issues is what i mean here. show him your love, and make him see that 7yrs of your lives together is stronger than a woman coming in to cause trouble. Loneliness could also be a factor here.
women can be very spiteful when it comes to getting what they want, but keep your cool. you are not the guilty party here...keep us posted and GOOD LUCK! will keep fingers crossed.
Just thought i would give you all an update, as you can guess i didn't get the necklace for my birthday, deep down i really didn't expect to. I asked him about it and he said that it was bought for his friend to give to the wife, but his friend has not been with his wife for the last 6mths and at xmas they hated each other to the point where he asked her for a divorce, i asked all the questions, Who , What, Why, Whens, but he stuck to his story. He said that i could call his friend and ask but i said what was the point as everyone would stick up for everyone. After a lot of thought i have decided to let the matter drop, and just concentrate on getting the relationship back on an even track, who knows one day i might find out what reaklly happened