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What am I doing wrong??

Posted by
DEE
on Jan 21 2008 at 21:27
Member since: 21 January 2008
Relationship advice i have been engaged to my fiance for 5 months and am having major problems. we have started to argue alot and this time has come to a point where she dont want to know me. my family dont seem to be happy with my mrs but always say they are. when we get married we were supposd to be moving in with my mum. the only thing is my mum has never made the wife to be welcome and she is starting to feel it. i told the mrs if u want we can get our own place and then everything should be ok. i have started looking at houses to buy and know that we will struggle for the first few years, but who doesnt. cause of al;l the arguing she now says she wants me to go out there stand on my own 2 feet provide for us then she will consider moving the relationship forward. i understand she feels insecure and wants thebest possible life but she doesnot want me to contact her until she feels that i am making good progress. i love my mrs but i am scared that the time apart may push us apart as she does noy want me to contact her. she will contact me when she is redy.

HAS ANYBODY BEEN THROUGH THIS AND DOES ANYONE HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE ADVICE FOR ME??? I AM IN NEED OF HELP

What am I doing wrong??
Reply from
CJ
on Jan 25 2008 at 01:52
Member since: 28 September 2007
Why don't you listen to your mother for once? Maybe she can see things in this girl that you cant because you are blinded by your love.

Look, I am a mum, and I can see from what you are telling me that this woman is trying to make you do better in life for her own selfish gain, but has got fed up of waiting for you to make money for her to spend.

Maybe she has done you a favour by not wishing to contact you until you do better. But if you are going to do better, don't do it for her. Do it for yourself. You sound to me as if you have allowed her to knock your confidence. No. Do what you can for yourself. That is not being selfish. That is being realistic. How can you give her what she wants if you haven't got it? But then again, if you have got it, why should you give it to her? She should be out there getting her own money - maybe that is what she is doing? Then when you both have enough, if you are still together, ok, but if not, then you will have some money put by to get your OWN place and do things on your OWN terms until you find the right woman - one that won't take you for a financial rollercoaster ride and then dump you when it's all gone. No you will find a woman who will share what she has with you as much as you will share what you have with her.

Good luck for your future.

What am I doing wrong??
Reply from
TAMP
on Feb 15 2008 at 04:39
Member since: 15 February 2008
Hi,

I just want to say the women wants you to be on ur feet and that's good but rather than out of touch in that period ,it would be good to be in touch with her so ur love can help you to overcome any issue.

So just ask her why she wants u to not contact her.

good luck

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