Am I setting myself up?
I've been with this woman for a little over a year...I love her, she loves me...However, before me, she was with a guy for about 10 years...the broke up about 8 months before we started dating. There have been times through the year+ where she is noticeably sad when her ex boyfriend comes up...she says she doesn't want him back and all of that but at times it is hard to believe...Now, I am a pretty understanding guy...10 years is a long time. At the same time, I also have to watch out for myself here...Am I setting myself up to get hurt here?? When she talks about him and is clearly saddened, I kind of clam up and get nervous. I have no idea how to react to the situation, and it makes me a little sad as I start to feel like i'll never measure up to him so to speak...Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
Just keep showing her you love her. There is absolutely nothing you can do if she still has feelings for someone else. I was in her position, although not for 10 years. I was madly in love with a woman for about a year, but she didn't love me and she left to find someone else. I knew that was the end and there was no way to win her back so I found another woman for myself. This new woman was perfect and we were together for 4 years, but for the first 18 months I still pined after the first woman. I tried my best to love the new woman but she never did enough to show her love, and she never said 'I love you', or if she did I never thought she meant it. We broke up after 4 years (I left her), because we didn't have any money and we were both depressed about the situation. I felt like I had given everything to her, but nothing was returned. We never argued, but I felt lonely with her. If she had shown me a lot of affection we would be together now, but I felt very much unloved and thought I would be happier on my (which turned out to be the case). So, my advice would be to keep trying and hope after 18 months she'll be properly over the first man. Good luck
I myself was in a relationship for 11yrs and i was very unhappy for the last 6yrs I wanted out so bad but I stayed because I didn't want to b alone n didn't no how to start over I guess it all depends on how they relationship ended if kids involve or did he end it or etc but if she not over him you probably just a rebound there's no time limited for women when it comes to a breakup I was very happy when my x finally stop begging me to stay n I finally got out and start dating again so talk to her n get her to tell u how she really feels and see how they relationship ended and u will no whr u stand hope this helps