Love or logic?
I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, 10 months ago, and about 8 months ago I started a "friends with benefits" deal with one of my friends. Then I started falling for him (which rarely happens, I did not even love my ex-bf) while he was actively having sex with other girls. I even became okay with the no-commitment deal, and became okay with him having orgies and looking for a romantic relationship with other girls. The confusing part was he was extremely charming and caring towards me and we were really close friends, which was not the case with the other girls he was sleeping with. For some reason I thought I can be the special one and I can tame this ladies man! After having some honest conversations I realized that I am not the one for him. He is looking for other things in girls and apparently I don't have some of them! but the sex was still awesome and I still loved him so much that I was okay with any deal he had! I felt like I was stuck with him and I wouldn't be able to fall for any other guy as long as he was there... so I stopped seeing him beginning of summer. Meanwhile, I started dating another guy who is perfect in a lot of ways, the only problem is I keep comparing my sex life with the fling I had with the other guy, and I don't know if I am genuinely not interested in this second guy sexually or if I am blind because I know I still can have sex with the first guy. At the same time, I feel like this guy Im currently dating is perfect and I should stop being so picky about just sex and settle down with him. I feel so contradictory about my feelings because all I wanted for 6 months was someone to care about me, and now I don't want to settle with some guy who is perfect in many ways. I am really happy when I am with this second dude but I just don't miss him when he is not around... I was almost making the mistake of sleeping with the first dude again tonight which honestly makes me happy, but has no future in it. I really don't know what to do.
How long have you been seeing this second person?
In my opinion, I do not think that the first person is ready to make a commitment. He may have some problems dealing with insecurity. Sure, he is charming and has all the qualities that you might want, but if you were ever wanted a commitment with him, you would have to ask yourself. Is he going to start cheating on me behind my back? Is he ready to settle down? If I were to marry him, could he support me?Is he willing to have children or take care of the children?
The biggest problem, I have learned is some men are better than other when it came towards sex. Although, how many would treat you in a positive way? How is he during sex? Is it passionate? Those are questions you have to answer for yourself. If you want someone to care for you and treat you respectfully, than ask yourself are you ready to settle down or do you wish to continue having fun with other men or women?