Hi, I'm male ,16 and i have been kind off close to this girl for some time now, maybe 5 months or so. Anyway, we have been at the same comprehensive school but have never really had that much do with each other until this year, we had quite a few mutual friends but that is about it. Anyway, for some reason i got talking to her on Facebook ( I know what you think) and we seemed to get on quite well, i wasn't exactly sure as it is Facebook and not real life, but we were quickly very honest with each other and she told me after a week that she trusts me and that that is a big deal cause she doesn't trust much people. We talked at school but not that much, we only had one lesson together and with our Gcse's approaching we didn't have a lot of time. She also is one of these girls who is quite close with her little friend group which made it very difficult to talk to her at school because her friends don't particularly like me and the odd time i was with her and her friends, her friends tried there bests to make it as awkward as possible between us for some reason. I then started getting warned by people in school about her, that although she is a nice person, she accidentally leads guys on. However i didn't listen to these people because they gave examples of times where she probably hadn't even hit puberty yet and therefore she is more than likely that her personality has changed. Also, these sources of information weren't all that reliable, one being a girl who probably has feelings for me so is more than likely to be jealousy influenced. So, I continued to have great conversations with this girl, the majority being on Facebook regrettably, but we didn't exactly have enough time to meet up with each other as we both have busy lives and exams coming up, however the conversations we had face to face were mostly great, although I was slightly anxious as I had developed feelings for this girl and again regrettably, I told her this on Facebook. Well anyway, our friendship got stronger and although she told me that she doesn't want a relationship right now, I was fine with that. It all had been great until maybe a month ago, we had been telling personal stuff to each other that we hadn't even told our closest friends, we had developed a trust between us and we both had a large amount of respect for each other. However recently for no obvious reasons, its gone pear shaped, we have ended up talking face to face and on Facebook less and less, however, i still put the same amount of effort in as I had done previously. When we saw each other at parties and other events, I tried to make conversation with her numerous times but she just gave the least passionate answers to make questions imaginable and showed that she didn't particularly want to talk to me. Every time we try and message on Facebook, most of the time the conversation just dies out due to her or we end up in an argument, we had arguments before but that's because we are honest with each other and we had both agreed that it should be like that, she just doesn't seem to show any empathy in the arguments like she used to, when the majority of the time I understand why she has her views and I have justified reasons for having mine. I have tried to organize meeting up with her, however she never seems to be able to meet and doesn't suggest an alternative like she used to, the couple of times I have tried to meet up with her, she has basically ignored me. One time she instead met with this girl who she had fallen out with to try and make up and talk about it. The girl who she met with she hasn't liked for half a year at least and she has often bitched about her to me. Its understandable though, I can't stand this girl either, many people can't, she likes to get involved with everything and gets a kick out of making people miserable. The guy who she goes out with now, she ordered him to send his best friend who is female, a message saying he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore, that girl is also a reasonably good friend of mine and there was no way she deserve it. I have messaged the girl who I like asking her whether there is someone else, whether I have done something wrong, whether she still wants to keep a friendship with me but she says, no there isn't anyone else and that she would tell me if there was, that I have done nothing wrong and that she still would like to be friends. She said she doesn't see how anything has changed. I don't want to be told to get over her or whatever. I just your thoughts on the situation, preferably by someone who has had similar experiences.
Hi - it's pretty complicated, but she sounds like a pretty complicated person. You can spend a lot of (miserable) time pondering over what she thinks/does, but my advice would be to be strong and shoot from the hip - 'Is you is or is you ain't my baby ?' Just like the song. Don't take no messing around. Tell her you want a serious relationship or she can bugger off. Hope that helps.