Is this guy really for me?
I have been in a relationship for three yrs as any couple we have our ups and downs, from the get go I said I don't want to have anymore kids he has 2 I have 1 and he had agreed his doesn't want anymore as well, on our first date I had made that very clear, I told him I also wasn't looking for marriage. but that's where he disagreed he wants to be married again. he liked it when he was married, they never had disagreements, raised their kids and on day she just ups and leaves him devastated. found out she had been cheating on him for month, as well as myself I was married for many yrs I stayed back and let my ex fulfill his dream to where I was left alone all the time I came custom to being by myself it has been many yrs since I can say I have had a full relationship with anyone that is there most of the time. so with this being said we have many ups and downs about the marriage deal, 2 months ago we had broke up due to I was only seeing him once a week we would have our evening of fun then he would go home and I wouldn't see him again until the next weekend. it came down to we didn't even spend the holidays together. my parents are dead and his are alive but when I had asked him to go to the holidays I was told his dad has it every yr. so I decided to go ahead and spend the holidays with my family and let him be with his. back to the once a week break up. I told him I was un happy, I felt I didn't mean much to him other then a person to sleep with once a week, he had left 3 days later I had packed things he left behind and had taken them to him, he then asked me where we stood for he has an opportunity to go on a date, I said wow how so soon where did you meet her, he said on line, in a smart ass voice I said oh ya when did you open a dating site he said the next day. grant you at this point we have been dating almost three yrs don't you think if you tell someone your un happy that he would try to make more time, then to just give up and look for a replacement or am I wrong? anyway he then try's to make it right he said he was pushing himself away due to he wants to get married and it scares him I don't,, we had talked about it before now I tell him the same thing iam not ready not sure that I will be , he said he is ok, now just last week it all boiled up again about the marriage same situation, but after he brings it to my attention I had decided maybe we better take a long hard look at what we want the next day he says now marriage isn't important but he has me wondering is this going to come back around in a couple month does he think one day he might be able to change my mind... my true feelings is he wants to marry me thinking it will feel the same as it did with his ex wife, but there is a huge change we don't have kids together and I think he will realize if I married him it's not what he was looking for because of not being the same feeling,,,, I guess after all my true question is if I keep him knowing he truly wants marriage and later down the line regrets staying with me because I was selfish and kept him even tho I know what he wants, or do I let him go so he can find what would make him whole & Happy again
Tamer, I wouldn't let a few differences keep you from being happy. Who knows? This could be THE guy of your dreams! Let go of that old husband and live in the moment! Best of luck to you!
Thank you for the reply.. every thing I have said on here is about the guy I'm with,
not my ex husband. The only part about my ex is he had left me alone a lot during the marriage. So I grew custom to being alone...
I guess I have a hard time with the whole marriage thing. I was raised in a small town. When we were taught to take our vows seriously.. And I did.. Not That that I'm stuck on that. But my therey is. I have had one kid that really hurt and never did it again...
Now I have had 1 divorce. And in the same week my divorce was final I had lost my mother.. And that time frame of my life I lost two in one week so I have deep hurt and don't want marriage again because that divorce hurt so bad. I don't know how to seperate that pain... The guy I'm with said he related his divorce to the same pain as loosing a parent... Well his parents are still alive. Until you loose a patent you don't know what that pain is. & I have lost both of mine..