well.....my husband of 3 yrs bf of 8 and father to my 2 sons(and also 6 months pregnant with 3rd baby) and i was having problems for a while mainly to do with my family and me feeling unsupported from my hubby.we split in march n was on/off for until 10 weeks ago however in this ten weeks he has had a fling with his business partners niece who was chasing him before we split. i told him to get on with his life and he did but i cant help feeling cheated and i'm not sure if i want him bk for the right reasons,i love him endlessly an him me but with pressure from my family not sure of the right decision with almost three children to think about i need to be 100% sure, i feel if try make a go of it i will be judged by my family and his, a lot of issues we had for splitting up originally we have come to terms with its just a case of putting them into action but when do you draw the line? i'm confused,emotional and exhausted i would have to build a lot of bridges with ppl but not 100% sure he would do the same i need closure whether its a yes or a no please help me
I will offer a perspective that maybe you havent considered before.. I have found with my clients that if they do a proper and effective forgiveness practice (offering and asking for) that the invisible crud that tends to be in the way of real communication starts to dissolve. Forgiveness is not the same as condoning what is done.. It is effectively a way to gain your sanity. dissolve any karma between you two and position yourself mentally to make the best choices.
The practice is done alone in your mind. And you are doing it from a perspective that If i have hurt this person first in this or a previous time i cannot remember then I ask for forgiveness. If They have initiated the hurt then i really do not want to continue hurting them in the future.
Here is a link for the PDF that walks you through the practice http://www.pfsoulhealer.citymax.com/f/Universal_Forgiveness_Practice.pdf
I hope this helps, You will need to do this practice several times a day , just like prayer, You could be very surprised at the benefits.
how is your finan condition and family supp,can u manage without him,if yes then go with the divorce otherwise no
MommyKate if you cant afford paid support i.e. counselling, then go for a free service online. There are a few you can search the net for. It does seem like youre stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea (pardon the expression). I suggest theparentconnection.org.uk - you can use their listening room where they have trained people to support you too.
I am picking up that he is not back in the house?
Please visit a legal firm and inquire about child support and how you are going to manage financially without him.
I know you love him, but he is not respectful of your feelings and is not honoring the marriage vows.
You are very vulnerable right now and need to protect your children and yourself first.
He must earn your forgiveness and respect and that is done over time and by actions.