Going to meet her soon, and she is so afraid
Hi everyone. In a week's time I will meet my online girlfriend of one year, i'm flying to her country! wish me luck! the problem is she is so nervous now! a few weeks ago she said how she was afraid and worried it wouldn't be the same, that i wouldn't like her. She always worries about everything and told me she always worries about silly things and always returns to the same fears. she also has a new job and works many hours so we have less time to talk and she is under more stress. i told her things will be ok and she felt better, then a few days later she said she was afraid again but its a fear she doesn't want to think about. 6 days ago she told me i'm her perfect boyfriend, she loves me a lot and i should never doubt her love.she said its a blessing to have me by her side. then 3 days ago she seemed more afraid than ever and said she was terrified she would ruin our relationship when we meet. she doesn't think she is pretty and also has a fear she will find some silly reason to reject me or the spark won't be there. she said she is sorry her behaviour is worrying me, she loves me and just wants everything to be fine. yesterday she said she didn't want to talk at all, then at night said sorry for everything but still seemed very upset and didn't say much, we just said good night. she told me she loves me again. I am aware that in reality things may not be the same, so i know her fears are normal, they just seem to be affecting her lots. In general she is a bit cold but still says she loves me and calls me affectionate names. she is talking a lot less and that is what worries me. I'm 99.9% sure she is just nervous for meeting but a tiny part of me worries she doesn't want to be with me any more or something like that. I just feel like i need some encouragement as i want to be strong to help her but it does upset me and i am afraid of her losing interest like my only other girlfriend did in the past. I really don't think she is doing that, i think she is just nervous and everything is ok but there is always that tiny voice telling me other things. any advice?
Ah this is very normal. I wouldn't worry too much. Just try and talk to her but be normal, don't be all mushy and lovey dovey. Right now that's kinda just gonna freak her out. It's just gotta kinda be chill and friend talk before meeting, ironic as that is. Once you're irl and get thru the first day it'll be fine. But like i said, don't be too affectionate all up in her face with it. it's hardcore anxiety with meeting and if it's too much touchyness it'll make it even more pressure.
Thanks for your reply! It does make me feel better, so far i've been lovey dovey trying to reassure her so maybe that's made it worse, but from mow on i'll do as you say
we're always very affectionate with each other so i think if i remove all of that she will worry but i'll try to find a level where it seems more normal
i messaged her this morning just saying good morning and that today would be a good day and sent a photo of type of dog she likes, she saw it and didn't reply but she probably just needs space at the moment so i'll just let her be and if she replies then great but if not then i guess its what she needs at the moment
I know i worry too much but i guess its just as she means so much to me!