I have no idea what I should do in this situation! So I'm turning 16 next month and I dated this guy back when I was 13-14. He was my first kiss & my first love. We had no problems throughout our relationship. But since his dad was in the military, he had to move. He moved across the country we tried to make it work but it just couldn't. We stopped talking after a month. Over the years we've gotten in contact with each other just to see how we were doing and everything else. These past few years have been really rough on me because of family problems and whenever that happenstance I'd got to him and open up to him. But since he wasn't there times got really difficult for me. So about a month ago he txts me and tells me he's coming back! I was soo excited! We talked and caught up with each other every day non-stop til 4am in the morning my time and 1am his time. I was falling in love with him all over again! He explained to me that he stopped talking to me cause he didn't want me to wait for him. He thought that was wrong of him to ask, he wanted me to date new people. And I did. But only 2. & they both weren't real relationships since I had family problems and oil don't handle everything, so I dropped them. And he told me he had 1 but she didn't couldn't be seen with him because of religious reasons. & so I txt him this paper that I found that I wrote all years ago about him. And it states my love for him. & I just really wanted him to know how I felt for him back then. Then he told me to tell him if all that still applies now. & I said yes. I truly love him! & he said he loved me too and that he didn't know how long he's always wanted to say that to me. So last Sunday we stayed up as late as usually and the movers were coming Monday morning, but he didn't want to stop texting me. But then his mom screams for him to get up and says that her and his dad are getting a divorce and he needs to decide who he wants to live with. The mom was staying there with his younger sister an his dad is coming here. He txt me and 5am to tell me, but he was asleep. Then I randomly woke up at 6am saw the message an called him immediately! He told me all of that and said the movers were going to be there in 4 hours and he had no clue what he was going to do. I wanted to help him soo bad! But I couldn't. I had no clue what to say. So I just let him talk out all of his feelings and what he was thinking to me for 2 hours. & in the end he still didn't know. So I told him if let him go to think about it but don't hesitate to call me or txt me anytime! And I waited all day. And he still hadn't txt me. So 7pm on Monday night my time, I txt him to make sure everything was alright. And he said yes, he went to see an attorney today. And he's coming here with his dad. But his mom is being very mean to him about it. So all I did was say I'm sorry. And then he said he had to go. So I said, okay. I understand. And he hasn't txt me at all since. & I don't want to txt him first. And I know he knows he can come to me if he needs anything. But I just can't help thinking that I just want to comfort him and tell him everything will be okay! But I don't want to bother him. I feel he is the type of person that just wants to be left along in these situations. But just Sunday night before everything happened. He said he wanted to move here. Go to college here with me and I'd be getting my vet degree as he'd be getting his Air Force. And then we'd travel together. He told me that no matter what happens he wants me to be in his life. I really love him and he loves me, but I don't know what I should do. Then my mom scared me with saying that he might go against women now and be very uptight and cautious because of what his mom did to his dad. But he knows if never hurt him! I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did! So please, what should I do? Am I over reacting? Or should I txt him? Wait a few days then txt him? Or just wait til he txts me and give him his space? I've never had to deal with a problem like this nor helped someone else with a problem like this. Please help, I'd be greatly appreciated!
Hi Izzy, sorry to know that you have to face this kind of dilemma at such an early young age. What I suggest is to clarify your stand with him first. make sure that you are both on the same page before you even worry about things. What happened to him plus your personal problems play a great part to all of these things and only you can sort it out. To do so, you have to face the facts and find out. It takes a lot of guts but you\'ve goo handle it really soon.
& i understand that to help him, but I need to figure how when to get in contacted with him. & even if I did get in contact with him, I don't think I would just spring that all on him. He's going through a lot right now, I don't want to be another problem for him.
I agree yes, he does have too much on his plate right now. i personally think you should give him the space and let him contact you first. You're being a fab person just by being there for him if/when he needs help. Don't worry, I know you're itching to do more, when people I love need help I just wanna hold them hostage and demand they have me fix their problems (lol), but unfortunatly this is a situation that will pan out and you will find that being there for him and loving him is what he needs the most.
"I wanted to help him soo bad! But I couldn't. I had no clue what to say. So I just let him talk out all of his feelings and what he was thinking to me for 2 hours. & in the end he still didn't know"
You WERE helping him. You were letting him talk and you were listening. even though talking to you didn't miraculously solve his problem, I'm pretty sure just talking about it made him feel better. You did great.
And by the way, no offence to your Mom but he will not go off women, do not worry. Chances are he will just go off his Mom. I really hope things work out for you both.
Thank you so much! You have helped me more then you could ever know!(: