Hello, first of all I'm glad that I found this forum
I guess I'm quite in a depressive state now that I run into internet for some advices *lol* because I find that talking to people doesn't help me to feel any better, it does, but only for a while, after we stop talking, I feel really bad again.
So, a few weeks ago I got into a fight with one of my close friends. Here I'm going to tell you what really happened, so you can get your perspective about this matter: So I have 2 close friends, lets say they are Andy and Noel. We were in search for job internships. During this holiday, me and Andy didnt communicate as much as we used to do, because he was on holiday so i didnt want to bother him, so he missed many infos about internship vacancies, but me and Noel still managed to send him the list of vacancies, sending infos and such. But I dont know why, he didnt seem to apply to any of them.
Until one day, me and Noel applied at the same place and got called for an interview. We really had a big hope for this because we prepared everything & struggled together in our portfolio making, we wished to work together. But we felt bad if we didnt tell Andy, so we told him the news and the address to send his CV as well. Andy got called too. Short story, me and Noel didnt get the immediate response from the company, but Andy, who came the next day, instantly approved. Me and Noel honestly felt kind of upset, even I know it was wrong and inappropriate. Like, your friend get approved so safe and sound, then you feel mad out of nowhere, something like that. What made us upset was, he was the least in effort, yet me and Noel did our best but it ended up like that. Then Andy saw me and Noel talking on Twitter, and he thought we were talking about him getting the job first and such, while in fact we didnt. And he texted us like why are you guys talking about me on twitter? if you dont like me getting the job why dont talk straight to me?
Noel was the calm one, so he didnt tell Andy what he was feeling. But me, I felt I need to be honest then I told Andy that I was a bit upset about the situation, and I explained that we didnt talk about him on twitter, then our conversation turned into fight. Maybe it was because the way I talk to him, I admit I was so bitchy that time, so he was mad. But he said he didnt want to fight with me and he said "lets end this argument, case closed". Then I apologized, but I realize now that there were still some bitchy tones in my apology, so probably he became extra mad. After 2 weeks, I guess things were settled, and he wouldnt continue any further so I still managed to text him and treated him like usual, like the argument that night never happened, but he was different. Until one night I found his sarcastic tweet about me, and I texted him and said "sorry if my words hurt you, but I still want to be friends. I've admit my mistake and apologize to you. Its up to you to decide." But I was completely ignored. I offered him for a talk to finish this together, because I feel this friendship is valuable so I need to save it, but again he ignored me completely. Now I feel really bad, really bad that he doesnt even want to reply my text. I feel really bad whenever I remember we used to be close together and did silly things, but now it's like over. I thought he is mature enough to think about this and talk,but why? we're in our twenties now, we know silent treatment like this wont solve the problem. What is your opinion about this matter? Does that mean he really hates me and he does not want to be friends anymore? Do you think I should keep going with the reconciliation? Can this broken friendship be fixed? Do you think I'm a bad friend and its natural for him to reject me? because I really feel this happens because of my bad personality and character, and it makes me feel worse. Thank you, to any of you who are reading this, and to any of you who is willing to leave constructive feedbacks. I really appreciate them.
Give your friend the space he needs to get over this. Find a nice card to send him congratulating, but also express your heart felt concern about your friendship. Sometimes one person has to take a bigger step to save a friendship. No more tweeting or posting negative or sly remakes. Let this now be in the past. Wait a bit and plan a happy hour celebration and be genuinely happy for him and let him tell you all about his new position. Your chance is going to come and something great is going to happen for you. You worked hard in school and earned every opportunity to be successful. Going forward you know how delicate a fight or not being on good terms with a feels and I'm sure you won't let this happen again. This sounds like a life long circle of friends and you want them around forever. It's hurting now but drop that card in the mail to him and be on your way to a new start with your friend! Hugs to the three of you. Good friends are hard to find!
Hi RUBICCON13! Thanks a lot for your feedback, I really appreciate it much. I did leave several 'hint' tweets secretly meant to him, after our fight, expressing my disappointment, so I guess he's still upset. I know, stupid me. This twitter thing is really harmful if you cant control yourself! so today I decide to stop and ask my boyfriend to change my passwords so I cant open it ever again.
Yeah you're right, I guess I should leave him for a while to heal. I actually still want to send him messages, because I heard that his grandmother now is in hospital, but I resist myself, I'm afraid he would become more upset or worse: think that I'm pretending and my concern is a fake.
We plan to have a celebration after all of us finally getting our job. But I'm afraid he would not come, knowing that I'm also coming. Though actually I hope, that time would be the time when we can finally talk and finish this problem for good.
But yeah, once things are settled I wont let this kind of thing to happen again!
Because friendship is very valuable, I believe that. Hugs to you too! Thank you for your words and encouragement!
dont communicate now just chill for some days then invite him for some social thing talk,let bygones be bygones,start fresh