Found condoms in shared bathroom
So while helping my husband pack for a trip, I found an open box of condoms in the bathroom he shares with his parents who sleep downstairs. I immediately showed them to him and he told me not to touch them because they were his parents'. I told him it didn't make any sense for them to keep them upstairs when they sleep downstairs and that they are over 60 in a monogamous relationship. I left the room and he went downstairs. When he returned, he said he talked to his parents and told them to store then elsewhere. I have not asked them about it and my husband has been out of town for two weeks. I haven't talked to him about it since he has been gone, but it has been nagging at me. My husband and I are very trusting of each other, but I'm also not stupid.
So now my husband is home. I do not trust my Inlaws would tell the truth if they were my husbands. I immediately went to his phone when he came one and found he had changed his password protection. He said he had written some thoughts that he was not ready for me to see about our life. I had asked him to think about having another baby before all this. I told him I need to look at his phone because of the condoms, which he said he had forgotten about already. He agreed to me looking at his pone, but brought it to the bathroom to charge and then left for a work meeting. I don't know how he can fix this if it IS all a mistake. What should I do? How do I proceed?
That's some really suspicious behavior. His parents may protect him and not disclose what they know. He may also have involved them knowing they will defend him. Since you don't know who the condoms belong to, put a pin in that and all other behaviors and address them...trust has been broken. I hate feeling like you can't trust someone so I know exactly how you feel. Now you are faced with how to handle things if you find there is cheating or betrayal. He will have to earn your trust back and prove that there is nothing going on behind your back that can hurt you. On the other hand. , say those condoms do belong to his parents and some thing far more than you could have imagined is going on with them, you may need to consider moving sooner than later. For now, get your knots out of your tummy and just stay calm. I had a huge blow dealt to me this summer and I learned that unfortunately you can only trust a man but so much. That's sucks but its just all true. Hugs!
Thanks for the response. We talked some more and he has no explanation for why the condoms were there. I told him he needed to figure it out. He can't imagine asking his parents either. We also talked about the other issues, why we sent talking as much. He says he's been feeling like a failure and has been depressed. He works so hard and none of his work is taking off (startup). All his time is spent on work and he is failing us by not being there. I told him we should get some counseling since I think he has important issues, but none of them will help me regain his trust. He agreed to talking to someone. I got really upset this afternoon because he wasn't answering the phone. He had left it in the car while it was getting serviced. He felt really bad I had called so many times and wouldn't leave it again.
As far as his parents, I wish I could leave, but they live in my house and aren't leaving anytime soon :/
Hopefully talking to a counselor will get us some help and a fresh perspective. Thanks for your response rubiccon13
Well my logical self was right, if it doesn't make sense, something is wrong. I searched his email for the word "love" and found a bunch of emails. My heart is broken. My trust is broken.
hate to say it hun but i think he's been cheating
what do you think?