My boyfriend is not sexually attracted to me
I have a real problem in my relationship.
My boyfriend tells me he is not sexually attracted to me anymore. We have been together for 1 year and for the last 11 months I can count on 1 hand how many times we have had sex. He claims it is due to my recent weight gain and lack of athleticism. we were only 1 month into our relationship when he started telling me he only dated hot skinny girls and I was of a different bracket, after that I worked out regularly and toned up and dropped 2 sizes (we had a formal event to attend). our sex life did not improve at that time. I used to try to initiate sex and was rejected regularly, I have since given up. I have gained back the weight I had lost for this event, plus a little, and now he is upset because my current lack of caring to lose weight or join sports teams is a turn off. I feel he is being very unfair, this is just another excuse to why he isn't sexually attracted to me. I have never been in a relationship with someone who finds me sexually unattractive and find it very discouraging. I am finding myself so down on myself that I don't even care anymore about my own appearance... I tried and failed. Im ready to leave this relationship, but he keeps telling me he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. Am I doing something wrong? btw, I am 5'6, 200 pounds, size 14-16 and carry my weight in my lower half. I have never looked in the mirror and felt disgusted with myself until this relationship... should I have been all along?
First of all I want to tell you that if he is saying that he isnt sexually attracted to you, then he isnt worth shit. I am sorry if that doesnt sound nice but you definitely deserve better. If no one else ever had that "problem" of being not sexually attracted to you then this guy you are dating isnt worth your time. You shouldnt feel less about yourself just like you didnt before you met this guy. If you loosed weight for him, he should be just freaking happy that someone actually cared about his longings. I think you did everything you can and YOU are perfect just the way you are. If he doesnt want sex with you then thats his loss and you shouldnt be sad about it. If he really loves you then he should have respected you the way you are. It is ridiculous that he has been with you nearly two years and now he says he isnt attracted to you anymore. If you want to break up then do what you want, not what he wants, and dont you even dare feel disgusted with yourself. He is a complete jerk to make you feel this way! Like I wrote before, YOU are perfect the way YOU ARE! Please dont let this guy make you feel like this and just leave him already. You havent failed, HE has! Please do what you feel is right, what you want.
I hope you will be happy in life and find someone that you deserve and makes you happy, not crappy
Thank you for your fast response. I really needed to hear it from someone else who is not one of my close friends because they already don't like him, and it's a humiliating problem to deal with. I really don't want anyone I know to know what I'm going through. I know that I deserve better and don't understand why I am letting this get to me so badly. Everytime I leave somehow I let him convince me to come back. I have lost a few people I really care about over this relationship and after this most current conversation with him am sure im ready to walk away, I Just wanted to make sure other people agreed with me that I'm not saying selfishly. ..
I am glad i could help you out a little. I'm happy that you are going to let him go and maybe you will get your close friends back, you'll never know. I know and hope you won't let him convince you this time and maybe the reason why you let this get to you is because you put a lot of effort in your relationship with him, maybe because it was the first time you felt bad about yourself in a relationship and just wanted it to be different. Wanted things in your relationship to be different. I hope you will find a guy who treats you better and that you will get your friends back. Maybe if you go talk to them you guys can be friends again