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Facebook Cheating - Need Help!

Posted by
MNG
on Sep 25 2013 at 14:55
Member since: 25 September 2013
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category Need some guidance!! My boyfriend left his phone at my house accidently. On a hunch I checked his facebook and found numerous messages from him to past girlfriends asking if they wanted to hook up and a couple saying he was on his way to their house. There were 2 other girls he was courting by calling them gorgeous and giving them compliments. He was asked by one of the girls if he had a girlfriend and he responded no. Then she messaged back that's not what facebook says. He has been receiving sexual pics from these girls and even remarked to one girl that he had dreams about her. We have been together over a year in what I thought was a committed relationship. I am lost because I love him so much. I want to confront him but know that if I do he will break up with me just because I went thru his cell phone. But I had to....I had a feeling he was up to something. To top it off, some of these girls are in my "circle" of friends. I feel so betrayed and am not sure what to do. After I discovered this last night I posted on facebook the word "DONE!". He immediately sent me a facebook message asking if he did something wrong. He then came over and made the statement, "As long as it wasn't directed at me." This morning (he spent the night) he woke up and started yelling at me saying I was being passive aggressive by not telling him what "DONE" meant. That he knew he didn't do anything wrong and he should have never came over last night. He told me he was tired of the way I act. I just left for work and cried the whole way to my job. I am confused and any advice of help would be appreciated. I really do love this man but I can't believe he would contact these girls and say the things he did in the messages. He told these girls he didn't have a girlfriend and he asked all of them out for drinks! Plus I'm not sure if he actually went to the one girls house because in the message she invited him over and he asked if he should bring anything and she said no. He responded he was on his way which was the last message from that girl. I would like to contact these girls to find out if anything physical did happen but I'm not sure if that is the right thing to do. I want to confront him but am scared to lose him. I'm just lost. Please help me!
Facebook Cheating - NEED HELP!
Reply from
LOSINATLOVE
on Sep 26 2013 at 00:54
Member since: 26 September 2013
Hi. My ex who I was married to for over 10 years had emotional and started to have physical relationships with people on FB telling me they're 'just friends'. Can't tell you what's best for you only to know. I will say you love him but he doesnt respect or love you in the same way if he's saying these things to these people or actually meeting them. You need to confront him about it.
Facebook Cheating - NEED HELP!
Reply from
SHANNON63
on Mar 15 2016 at 09:33
Member since: 31 December 2015
MNG, I recently had an issue with my boyfriend over Facebook. My case was the ex girlfriend started texting him while I was at his house. He casually said oh she called me at work. Now that tells me if she called him at work on his job and she is texting him at home while I am there. She is interested in getting back with him. I told him if you want her back just say so I will back out of the picture, I was assured that this is not what he wanted. He said I will take care of this problem I promise you.

Few days went by there were no more text from her, and the way I found out a text came in he was expecting a message from his daughter and he hollered in and said look at my phone and see if that is her. When I looked at it said the exes name. I didn't go snooping in his phone, I was asked to look.

Anyway, I asked him there have been no more texts did you figure out how to block her number, he said no I called her and told her not to call or text me anymore, that I was in a relationship with you and I would like it if she showed the same respect to me that I showed her when we broke up.

I said okay was just wondering, he assured me again that I had nothing to worry about, I said I am not worried at all.

Well things were fine for about a month and half. I logged into my FB account, there was a message from him, I was using my computer, which FB is different on a computer then it is a phone. You have more options due to space on the screen.

I went to reply to his message and a little pop up box, came up that said he became friends with this woman and 13 other people. Her name zoomed out at me, I was like are you kidding me, I felt so violated and lied to, you cannot imagine.

I brought it up to him, and he assured me she sent him a friend invite but I had nothing to worry about, he said I never even thought it would be an issue. I said well I don't like it, I just think that is a way for her to try to cause problems.

In the next breath he started calling me a liar, a snoop, how dare I go through his stuff. He said how could you think I would cheat on you. I never at anytime accused him of this. I simply said I didn't like it.

However, past experience, when a man gets this defensive with you over something as petty as a contact on FB, something is not right. You bet, I caught him with his hand in the cookie jar so to speak. He never thought I would find out because he has over 800 friends. But FB snitched him out. You can't see this information when you send a message on a phone but it is a feature on a PC. I told him I could prove that what I was saying was true.

At that point I was told nope sorry the trust is gone on both sides now, I am like you don't trust me, he said yep your a liar and a snoop. Well I got called one to many liars and snoops. Long story short we broke up 8 months ago, and I moved on. Now I am being harassed by him because he can't stand the fact that I have moved on.

The trust issue, I didn't violate his trust he violated mine when he chose to add her to his contacts. Now if a man was a really good friend for years as I was told she was to him, make note he and I were friend for 40 plus years, we grew up together. I was informed that she was his good friend, I was nothing. She however, being his really good friend and was told not to call or contact him in anyway, I would have never sent him a friend request.

I think he was in contact with her the whole time, he added her and figured I would never find out, but I did find out and it ended the relationship.

I know you say you love this man so much, but he doesn't feel the same way about you that is evident. You had the proof in black and white right in front of you, what more do you need. You are in denial, if this man truly cared for you he wouldn't be conversing with another woman. Which by the way you said were several women. This man is playing you just like he is playing these other women.

My advice is let him know or don't let him know, but get out of that relationship and find someone that will be true to you.

I was dumped for a barfly, I moved on and didn't look back. I now have a great man that is there for me in every way. I couldn't be happier.

Find yourself someone that can make you happy because this will only lead to more sorrow and pain for you.

Let him know that you know he is cheating with these other women and that is one thing you will not tolerate and end the relationship.

No matter how much it hurts and no matter how much you want to contact him, keep moving on do not call or contact him. There is someone out there that will treat and show you the respect you deserve.

I hope this helps you in some way.

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