Friend zoned lvl 100
So I am currently single and living with three other roommates. Two of which are married to each other. The other roommate is a gorgeous, funny, all around amazing girl that I have had a crush on since I moved in over a year ago. Last year we all went to an overnight event with alcohol involved and the two of us got pretty drunk. That night we shared a bed and I tried to make a move but she obviously didn't want me. Ever since that night I have felt awkward around her. We can be flirty at times with each other but for the most part I am so far deep in the friend zone that without some sort of action I don't see us together. The married couple have known this girl for a long time and say that she always has the wrong taste in men. She wants a meaningful, long relationship but choose the guys that would probably be the last to get involved in that. I would LOVE to call her mine. I would treat her a million times better than any other guy before me. But alas this is her decision and I don't know what to do. Plus the situation is escalated because I live with her. I would appreciate any advice on this situation. Is it too late? Will she ever feel for me the way I feel for her?
I think your only way forward is to move out because all the time you are there in that situation you are not going to be able to put this girl behind you and find someone that really appreciates you. People choose their own path in life and I have also experienced women who would rather take a chance with a bad boy than go for the safe option of a loving, supportive nice guy. She has to learn lessons in life herself and while she is like she is there is no space in her life for you. Who knows, one day you may meet her again and she might have grown up!!
Hello. I'm sorry if I misunderstand the situation, but I wonder if you tried to make a move on her besides the awkward episode when you both were drunk. Not just being jokingly flirtatious with her, but really talking to her about your feelings or expressing them in a more serious way. I can only imagine how hard and awkward it may be in case you'll have to live together even if she openly rejects you, but I'm afraid that is the only way to find out whether you have a chance.
You see, I personally wouldn't accept intimate advances from a drunk roommate even if I were head-over-the-clouds in love with him, and I think most girls wouldn't either. Because really, imagine the level of awkward if you did have sex that night - and the next morning one of you would say "Hey, I don't know what the hell was that thing last night, I was wasted, let's just pretend that nothing had happened". And you'll have to live together after that, with your friends who would probably know everything.
However, if you do know for sure that she's not into you, then I'm sorry, but I believe moving out is really the best option for you. I just want to tell you that it's not about being the "nice guy" or the "bad guy", or having any particular qualities. Attraction is a quite irratonal and unpredictable thing. If she would agree to be with you just because you'll treat her well, she would be using you and I don't think that relationship could make you happy, because no matter how hard you'd try, there still wouldn't be enough emotional feedback from her side.
Anyway, I'm rooting for you and wishing you good luck!
Nessie is right!
How much have you ACTUALLY tried to tell her you have a major, super crush on her and want to BE with her.
Here you are, possibly blaming her for choosing the wrong guys and not seeing you, but she has NO IDEA how you really, really feel about her. The silly flirting and making a move only while drunk (that may have grossed her out/freaked her out; think about it!)? That doesn't say much at all to her if your feelings run deep. So, my advice to you is to find it within yourself to tell her you care about her a lot, you want to try dating, and make sure you aren't making her feel pressured in any way to choose you because you think you're the best one for her: that might be something you think, but that's ultimately something only SHE can decide! Make sure you make it clear that you want to be emotionally supportive as true friend annnnd boyfriend wrapped into one.
Gather within yourself the confidence to also face possible rejection of these advances. You'll know for a fact that you did everything you could to try and that she made the choice, whether it was bad or good for herself, because it was something I guess she felt like she needed to do. Truly, unabashedly loving a person comes from not having a need to control their decisions, even if those decisions don't include you in their life. If she chooses, apparently, a guy that doesn't care about what she needs after you've been frank and open about how much you care for her, then you will know, clearly, that she had the problem, not you. That's ok, but don't get caught up on blaming and seething about it too long or you'll turn into one of those embittered friendzoned guys, or Nice GuysTM (look that one up and you'll know what I'm talking about.)
Good luck, remember you have to communicate to others what you feel like before your situation can improve, and affirm to yourself that you are deserving and will always be clear of your needs to be loved and appreciated.
How serious are u about her? What are your intentions with her? Answer this first then i can tell you what your next step is.