Long Distance Relationship is HERE!
I've never written on one of these message boards before, but I need advice and not sure where to turn. Here's my situation: I have been in an 18 month long distance relationship with a woman from another country. We met in the states and spent a total of 6 months together either in my city or hers. There were mixed reviews from our time together, but I wanted to continue to explore what we had started. One week ago she quit her job, sold her belongings, and moved to my house. We just started renting a house with another couple. The confusing part of the story is that 2 months ago I found myself in an amazing affair with another woman. It was exciting and adventurous and extremely secret. Now this woman is all I can think about. we have decided not to talk and essentially end our relationship for obvious reasons. I have no interest in having such a scandalous secretive affair while living with my partner. I know thats skewed morality, but Im trying here. The other issue is my relationship with my girlfriend is extremely strained. She can tell my mind is somewhere else. I would break up with her if not for the fact that we have a new lease, I got her a job (so she could get the visa) with some friends and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I feel like I am living a lie. Or am I just nervous about being in a long term relationship and making this affair into something better than it is? The woman I had an affair with just got out of a 12 year marriage (as did my girlfriend) and has said she loves me and only wants to be with me. Both women are 35 and want children. Any advice would be helpful. Mainly is it less selfish to stay in this relationship for a few months and then tell her or just do it now? Or maybe i will find out it was all just a phase.
Be straight with both women. So what if you appear or you are the jerk here, all of a sudden, this is your life, and these women have their own lives too. What are you trying to do 'save face'? At this point the entire ordeal will blow up in your face, like a bad episode of 'three's company. Man up, look bad, if only for a short spell, cause continuing this way will eat at you in a way you cannot imagine. You know?