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Relationship advice I am paying the price of what i did 18 years ago.i cheated on my wife fell in love with a air hostess,divorced but made sure that i settled my ex wife set her life in usa she gott married & living happy.i was in relation ship for 6 years with tons of fight and finally went against every one tell us not to marry we did.after 10 years of marriage have 2 beautiful kids with still in a bad marriage with so many fights,regarding not trusting each other,she keeps threatening to leave and tried many time to leave every time i end up trying to hold her back , finally she decided to leave this time i never did cause i have enough of cat mouse games & i need love not an immature party alcoholic wife.i put my foot down and she took the kids & left but we are separated now that i have finally gain courage after all my family have told me i did not have any backbone and let my wife walk all over me .i took tons of shit from her & forgiven her many times ,this time i am trying to be strong but she confuse me , after a month of separation , she again drank a lot and starts to say she love me but we cant stay together but she loves me as she says .I have given her an ultimatum if she wants to think of family she must quit her job as i am well settled in life to take good care of life , as god has blessed us with enough money & i need not her money to live but she is not wanting to quit her job.we love .what can i do now its been 18 years of us together , it is so hard for me to move on in my life as i was so use to family life that now she walked away from me i am alone my kids r with her .I dont have much friends , i am so lonely depressed but trying to be strong , dont want to drift and do any thing wrong like drink of drugs .i started smoking as i have lot going in my mind.seems like i am all alone in this world at times just want to run away to some country & sit quiet from all this pain & want to move on but don't know where to start , as where ever i go it will be short visit as a holiday and i will have to come back to face the sorrow.is there any one to give me advise of what should i do .

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My advice:
1.) She needs to cut back on the drinking. She doesn't have to quit, just stop drinking as much.
2.) If you truly love her, then why does she have to quit her job? So you're set to support her and the children. Congratulations! But, do you really think she wants to ask you for every penny she spends? Maybe being a little independent is part of her personality. If so, and if you really love her, then you shouldn't ask her to change.
3.) You both need to calmly and maturely discuss your problems together and find a way to compromise. It won't be easy but it will be worth it!

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Where ever u go, there u are. The old adage has depth. Think on it.

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