Love Match Calculator

I Think I've Driven Him Away -- Help Please

Posted by
ACENYC
on Oct 15 2013 at 21:03
Member since: 15 October 2013
Other advice I have been in a relationship with my man for almost four years, living together for the last 3. In the last year, the sex is almost non existent. At first I thought it was because I was always gone traveling for work, but he says that he's just not interested in sex and has no desire. He says that I shouldn't take it personal but that's hard to handle. I feel so rejected. So much so that I started questioning whether there was someone else and his time spent on facebook.

Last week he told me that my insecurities were pushing him away and although he still loved me, didn't feel like he was still in love with me. Described our current situation as break pads grinding metal on metal. When I asked him does that mean he wants to end the relationship he said, he didn't know. He's tired of the constant arguing over sex and what he describes as my lack of trust in him and needs a change.We both went out of town over the weekend to get away and have some separation from the situation. Before he left, he was barely speaking to me. Now he is speaking, but we talk about general topics and what is going on with a trip we put on together for others to travel to Texas and the success of the trip, but nothing about us. Anytime I try to ask where we are or are going, I continue to get the I don't know. Does his failure to talk about "us" mean that he is done, or just needs time. He is not one to argue and we have argued constantly when I am home. Should I just leave the relationship or give him some time to realize that my lack of trust is simply because of the lack of sex and how that part of our relationship has changed so much in the past year. I love this man to death and know that he is a good man to me.

I think I've driven him away -- help please
Reply from
IMAGINETHEBEST
on Oct 15 2013 at 21:38
Member since: 15 October 2013
Dear ACENYC,

I was so sorry to read your post. It is sad. It speaks of a women who does not know her worth. You are worth something but you would never know it by the way "your man" is treating you. If he is paying all the living expenses and your money is your money plan your escape. Get your own place and if you do not want to live alone get a real roommate; not a roommate disguised as a lover. If you have some kind of 50/50 arrangement for living expenses or paying anything at all get out immediately..."your man" is just not that into YOU. A broken heart can heal much faster than an broken LIFE. Good Luck.

I think I've driven him away -- help please
Reply from
IMAGINETHEBEST
on Oct 15 2013 at 21:41
Member since: 15 October 2013
Dear ACENYC,

I was so sorry to read your post. It is sad. It speaks of a women who does not know her worth. You are worth something but you would never know it by the way "your man" is treating you. If he is paying all the living expenses and your money is your money plan your escape. Get your own place and if you do not want to live alone get a real roommate; not a roommate disguised as a lover. If you have some kind of 50/50 arrangement for living expenses or paying anything at all get out immediately..."your man" is just not that into YOU. A broken heart can heal much faster than an broken LIFE. Good Luck.

I think I've driven him away -- help please
Reply from
ACENYC
on Oct 15 2013 at 21:58
Member since: 15 October 2013
IMAGINETHEBEST thank you for your response. I own my own home, but rented it out to a tenant when we moved in together. My tenants lease does not end until June 1st. Currently we split all living expenses 50/50. I wish that I could just move out asap but I have a daughter in college that I pay tuition for, plus my tenant's rent does not fully cover my mortgage so I pay the difference out of pocket. Feeling a bit financially strapped and finacially tied right now. There is a part of me that thinks that's why he said He doesn't know what he wants because I know that financially he can't do everything without me. I don't want to feel used, and don't want to make the same mistakes that I made when I was married by staying in the relationship for 15 years despite my ex husbands infidelity. I don't think that there is any infidelity in this relationship. He's home every night it's just when the sex stopped then my past experiences with my ex husband kicked in.
I think I've driven him away -- help please
Reply from
SUFFICATED
on Oct 16 2013 at 06:24
Member since: 09 October 2013
Find yourself, sounds like you lost you, somewhere in the mix of life.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?