Hi, i am married and my wife and i are going through problems, i cannot stand having arguments over everything and thats where we have been, we have now come out the other side and have identified we have a power struggle at times. We have decided to try and work through this as we have children and want to make a different experience for our childeren than we had when growing up, ie parents splitting up. So what i want an opinion on is.........My wife hates being interupted when shes talking, its so bad that she will normally kick off if i do it, trouble is i am a serial interuptor and sometimes i do interupt and sometimes it doesnt affect her but today was not one of those days, all day i have felt there has been something wrong and blatently there was otherwise when i interupted her she wouldnt have kicked off. so she starts talking about the cakes she has to make for nursery to sell, but shes unsure where they are going to sell them , now i know the answer to this and interject with it...WRONG.....she went onto anther subject and then shut up and went into a mood cos i spoke, problem is i feel suppressed like i cant say it and do mostly try to not speak over her, but sometimes it happens, i dont think its a big thing and get spoke over by her all the time so what thats what people do all the time, what dyou reckon, and no please dont just say split up, we have decided not to already so please constructive replies. thanks steve
I have the opposite situation with my wife. I'm English she's Spanish. In her culture it's normal to interrupt, but I don't like it. My advice is to try to focus on the positive things about your wife. Remember why you fell in love with her. If you change your feelings for the better towards her, she will probably respond in a more loving way towards you. Remember that you can't change someone else, but you can change you. Now that you know that interrupting really bugs her, try to be conscious of it and not do it so much. The interrupting thing is quite minor, but there must be more water under the bridge. Try building your relationship with her by going on dates, having fun together and falling in love again. You may start off doing it for your child, and end up realising why you married her.
Thanks for that, its so easy to look at her and say whats annoying me, i do try not to interrupt but sometimes it just happens, i hate the reaction and sometimes feel i just cant get it right. as you say the interupting thing is minor but i dont think thats the case for my wife, i think there other stuff that nots being spoken about so when i do interupt that becomes the focus of all the bad feeling thats already there, and yeah she expects me to read her mind