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I am at a loss

Posted by
on Oct 25 2013 at 13:31
Member since: 25 October 2013
Relationship advice I really need to get some advice as I am really at a loss what to do about my relationship. I have been in a relationship with a man for 15 months now and all we seam to do is argue and can not come to a place of peace. We met online and was chatting for about a year before we met face to face......He has been separated at the time from his wife for 2 years when we started chatting. When we finally met we fell for each other in a really big way. We were just inseparable and was so loved up that real life never even came to play in our little world. I did not know at the time when he was chatting and flirting with me he was in a friends with benefits relationship with another woman.......however he says he did tell her he does not love her and they are just having a good time. After about 8 months we decided to move in together. Now I have to say I am a very neat, clean and tidy person and love my home to be that way. We talked about the moving in together and I told him in no uncertain terms how important it is to me to have a neat ect. place to live in. So at that time his daughter's dog was living with her and being in a flat is not the place for a Labrador anyway so I had no idea that the dog could end up with us. However after a month or so his wife insisted he takes the dog as she did not want the dog anymore living with them. His wife and him decided to get the dog for the child when she was 5/6. Keeping in mind his daughter is 16 at the time and is old enough to take care of her own dog. We pay 50/50% for everything and I can not stand the dog it is always sheading hair and he allows it in the flat all the time and it is a endless battle to keep the house clean(which by the way in the 7 months we have been living together he swept and moped twice.) I do all the cleaning, washing, ect. He is a chef and says he has not got the time or energy to do anything domestically. I get irate all the time as I work too and still I have to do all the rest on my own. So we end up arguing constantly as he will not get rid of the dog or clean after it. The dog stays on a small terrace all day long on his own without anything to do. He says loves the dog and that he will stay. I then said that if the dog stays I go......he thinks I am really petty about the dog and should except all he wants and it is just that way........................Now what I want to know is, is it worth staying in a relationship with somebody that basically never takes my feelings into account......I am wasting my time here or is it me being unreasonable as he says I am????????
I am at a loss
Reply from
on Oct 25 2013 at 21:27
Member since: 21 October 2013
This guy is just using you as a maid and dog-minding service. He does not display real loving behaviour. Stop him manipulating you and kick him out. He is not going to get any better and you will just end up hating him (and yourself) for treating you so badly. Someone who loves you is considerate of your feelings - this guy is not. I can see why his wife wanted out. Find a nice guy, not this abuser and loser.
I am at a loss
Reply from
on Oct 27 2013 at 14:59
Member since: 27 October 2013
if you cant get on with him before marriage it only gets down hill after. get rid of him!

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