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New girlfriend? I thought so, but

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I've started dating a woman I've known via a family connection for eight years. We're both recently divorced and have lots of common experiences to share. We'd gotten closer the past two weeks--I was more the one wanting to move the relationship forward. We go out and do everything fun possible--I'm paying for it all, but I don't mind. We do LOTS of passionate kissing, but after a month, still no sex--she says she isn't the kind of girl to sleep around, but she does like me a lot, says she could see us spending our lives together. Yesterday was her birthday and I bought her some nice cards, a gift card to a day spa and made her a pumpkin pie from scratch. We met up with some of her friends and she seemed a bit distant to me though. I asked and she said her ex-husband called to wish her a happy birthday--first time in three years--and it threw her for a loop. When we came home and were laying together, I asked if she still loved him and she said yes. That crushed me. I don't know what to do, how to handle being with her--how to handle NOT possibly being with her. I love her and she only seems to like me, though we were getting closer. Any advice on what I can do? What I should NOT do? I don't want to play games, but I almost feel I need to back off and not call her, email her or text her and see if she comes chasing after me...or not. But waiting for all that time to pass will just kill me. Can anyone offer some help or advice? I'm really hurting.

New girlfriend? I thought so, but

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To avoid futher hurt, you should indeed back off for a while and not have any contact. This woman still has feelings about her ex- she is not sure what kind of feelings they are. She is very confused and has not yet made the complete emotional break from her ex. Tell her you two should take a break so she can sort herself out. She will either come back or she won't, but if she doesn't, you will have at least saved yourself any further heartbreak of getting more involved with someone who is not fully committed to you.

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