Feeling humiliated and betrayed by my husband
I have been married to my husband for almost 6 years now. I recently found out that we are expecting our second child. I had a miscarriage a few months ago at 6 weeks and we chose to keep it between us since we had not told anybody else that we were expecting. I am now 5 weeks and praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy. We have agreed with my husband that we shall not tell the rest of the family until I am in the second trimester. This weekend we visited my in-laws and when I took my 3 year old daughter to use the bathroom, his mum, sister and him started speaking in lower tones and I was almost sure that he told them about my pregnancy. I was even more convinced when I asked him about it and he asked me what I heard and then came up with an explanation for it. He said they were talking about his other sister's pregnancy and that his dad would be told 'in due course' (the words in quote are part of what I heard). It didn't make sense because his dad already knows about his sister's pregnancy. If anything, his dad is the one who told him that his sister was expecting. When we got home I asked him again and I told him that it didn't make sense that his mum believes that his dad doesn't know and he said it didn't make sense to him either...that perhaps his sister told his mum and his dad on separate occasions so maybe his mum doesn't know that his dad knows. At this point I expected him to be angry with me for doubting him but he wasn't....he said he can understand where I am coming from. I am convinced that he told them and I feel so betrayed and humiliated knowing that he would rather be in 'kahoots' with his family about something so personal to me then just tell me the truth. During my first pregnancy, told his friends and promised me that he hadn't told anybody just yet...only to have one couple congratulate me at an event and I felt so embarrassed because it was obvious that I thought they didn't know. He also told his sister the sex of the baby even when we had agreed to just keep it between us. I feel like he doesn't value the bond we have and that my husband is him and his family. I need him to admit the truth. What should I do?
stop expecting anything my dear, it hurts trust me. my husband does the same things and i have no choice but to get angry and fight over it repeatedly. i can relate to your problem. but i really don't have anything to guide you. all i can say is.. accept his ways. if he haznt changed in 6 years.. he wont do that in future also. i knoe my words are a bit harsh but thats the reality. last way out is.. talk to him with love and tell him how do you feel about it.. confront him and tell him that how your relationship is lacking the basic trust factor. i really dont know what else to say... if you have a solution to it... pleaze let me know too.... coz my hubby haz even gone to the extent of telling my in laws all that i have said about them in a rage of anger. so i am totally clueless... how to make a SON turn to a HUBBY!!