If you like him and you guys get along, go out for drinks, don't overdo it. Make sure that others are around and include everyone in your conversations. Since dating is new to you, it will be good to go out and socialize with co-workers. Even if you don't end up with him, you'll be getting yourself out there and have fun at the same time.
Agree with yourself to set boundaries before going. Your ultimate goal (if it is your ultimate goal) is to just socialize and have some fun. If he steers things into going home with him, or your place, or his friend suddenly has to go, that's an indication he wants more than to just hang out. That's when you'll kindly request or say you need to get going, too, or make it known that you're just out to get to know people.
If you know someone who will be straight forward with you, you may ask them if they know if he is seeing someone currently.
If that does not yield results, then, when you go out for drinks, just ask him. Start off by saying you're not interested in dating just yet, but want to know if he is or is not actually dating right now. Mention you overheard the conversation where he has to get back home to his 'old lady.' Don't talk down to him, just sound very curious and try to show him some empathy. Explain that you understand if he just doesn't feel happy in the relationship and that's how you felt during your marriage. That will help open him up to speaking about whether he's in a relationship or not.
If he admits that he is but has an interest in you, at least now you'll know. From there, let your own thoughts guide you. At this point, you know he's involved and if that doesn't sit right with you, just say you're glad to know and if he needs advice you can offer it and that you'd be happy staying friends.
Depending on your future goals, it sounds like he may be less interested in marriage and just having fun for now. Let that determine if that's the kind of lifestyle and relationship you want in the end.
Not sure if any of that helps. Good luck.
Being in a relationship for five years may not seem long to some people however it is enough time to build a relationship with someone and get to know them fully - I am sorry that this relationship did not work out but at least now you are independent and free to date again when you feel you are ready.
It's not uncommon to feel strange and that the world of dating will be completely foreign - you've been with someone for a few years and so it will take some getting used to. What I would recommend is taking some time to yourself first and foremost- focus on yourself for a while and figure out what you want from dating or relationships before throwing yourself in at the deep end. You need to re-discover what you want from life as your own entity and gain your own independence back; being co-dependent on a partner for so long, it will be a while before you are comfortable in your own company. But when you learn to love yourself - then you are ready to love someone new!
However, there's nothing to stop you from getting to know this man in the mean time - by the sounds of things he seems nice enough and he's being pretty casual about things but I suppose you would still be in a vulnerable state - and you do not want to be getting involved with him if you are not 100% certain that he is not single - you don't want to be in a situation like that. Trust me, it will just add to your stress if you've recently gotten out of a marriage! I would suggest keeping him at arm's length for the time being. Continue being friendly and see where it takes you - but if the co-worker made that remark he may not be letting on as much as you think he has... you're not looking for anything serious and, odds are, this man isn't either...so in the mean time figure out what you want and get to know this guy as a friend. Go out for drinks but don't expect anything of it - don't rush yourself and have a good night!
Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?