PeoplesProblems Logo

It's complicated ...

Default profile image
Hi. I'm a 19 year old guy . And she is a twenty year old girl. She lives in New York while i live in New Delhi... We have been chatting for months and after approximately two months she said she loved. Initially I wasn't attracted to her but with time i fell for her too. We kinda had cyber sex ( no idea if it counts). She always said we could never get together but she says she still loves me. She also never hid any of her relationships from me and is currently being alittle friendly with a guy. Coming back to us, we have had numerous fights too but we always came back to talking terms no matter how big a fight.... It hurts me a lot that she goes with others but she says she still loves me. What should i do.... ?

It's complicated ...

Default profile image
Oh dear! It's obviously easy to make a judgement from the outside looking in. There are several problems with what you have described.
1. If she's clear you'll never get together then falling for each other is not a viable option. It's definitely ok to chat and cyber sex but you are not a little boy, you should be very aware of the fact that it is not a real relationship and not actually a healthy lifestyle. You definitely need to make sure your real life comes first.
2. If she's messing with others she can't truly be in love with you, she is quite likely lusting for you it's perfectly natural to feel that way at first and probably anything up to a year but true love comes from knowing someone inside out, sharing chemistry and gestures and those things cannot occur through a virtual relationship. She probably feels like she loves you but she puts herself and her needs and wants first (naturally) so you should do the same for yourself.
3. I'm not sure what the arguments are about but I can definitely tell you that if you are arguing after only 2 months it is not a good sign. You should weigh up whether your morals and personalities are actually similar. And the fights must be trivial it's not as if she can see your socks on the floor and wants you to pick them up :).

My overall advice is look inside yourself and don't be naive, see it from an outsiders point of view. You need to assess whether this "relationship" is truly what you want in life or whether it's a just for now thing and if it is make it clear to her.
People can waste their lives in a virtual world. You have a real life, real emotions and real loving to give. You only live once, I don't understand why you would waste that in front of a screen.

Good Luck

This thread has expired - why not start your own?