My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months. I am 22, he is 21. We live 4 hours away from each other as I am at university while he has a full time job in the town where he lives. We met online, and it was very unexpected. That's why I was very understanding of the fact that he still lived with his ex-girlfriend. They had been together for almost 3 years prior to us meeting. He tells me that he is just trying to be nice and give her a place to stay until she can get on her feet and move out. I trust my boyfriend, and I know that his ex girlfriend has a new guy and they recently eloped. My boyfriend has told me about 4 times that she is moving at "soon"... But she never did. I was okay with it, until an argument we had recently. It was my ex-boyfriends birthday a few weeks ago (him and I broke up in Feburary of this year and were together for 8 years). I spent my entire, or pretty close to it, teenage years with him. So, I posted on his Facebook wall saying just an innocent happy birthday. Then, my boyfriend went onto my ex boyfriends profile and say 3 pictures of us from 3 years ago. He got super jealous and caused an entire argument over it. I had no pictures of him on my profile of us. What makes matters worse is i asked my boyfriend to take down the pictures of him and his ex girlfriend off of Facebook and he took down half on them, although right now, they are all down. My boyfriend really does care about me and he truly wants to marry me someday, but I really can't go on if this continues. I love him so much, and during arguments I never really say what's on my mind. I really need help. Thank you
Hey Mystexile, I'm sorry you're going through this, it must hurt a lot that your boyfriend is reacting this way. From what you have said I really don't think his behaviour is justified. Your situation is difficult and you have accepted a lot that most people couldn't. A lot of relationships have started online these days, it might not be the traditional way of meeting someone but in some respects it's more if a guarantee you are going to find someone that has more in common with you and are able to talk openly with so I wouldn't think that this is a reason to be hesitant about whether or not your relationship is any less meaningful than the one he had with his ex. If their relationship ended on good terms I could imagine that they would still live together temporarily until they make other arrangements, but how long has this been going on? Have you met his ex? Does she know about you? If I was in that situation I would want assurance that they are definitely over and that he had told her he is now in a relationship with you otherwise I would be suspicious that the relationship night jot be over. When your boyf got jealous about you hanging out with your ex it could be that he thought you are not as accepting if his situation as you said you were and were trying to get back at him so that could make him angry. But the fact that you have been so understanding to him and he can't give the same back does ring some alarm bells. Could it be that because your relationship started online he is not as invested in it as he should be and worse case scenario is still holding on to his ex just incase you guys don't work out? I think you need to talk face to face and find out what your relationship means to him and if he thinks it's got a future. If he does then I think some things have to change, I.e. He or the ex moves out and your honest about what lines you are both comfortable each other crossing I.e friendships with exes. Hope it works out got you.
Hey, there! Thank you so much for responding. My boyfriends ex-girlfriend and him have arguments constantly. As from what, I know the relationship ended on very bad terms. I was understanding of the living situation because he can't legal evict her until the lease was up. I am a very sympathetic person (I am not a person that will hate my significant other's past relationships) especially when they have nowhere to stay. Now, that the lease is up and he can legally evict her, he hasn't. I just don't think he has the guts to kick her out. I am trying to be polite and respectful in this situation. However, all I want to do is tell him very sternly "Either she goes or I do, because I've put up with this long enough". She does know of me but I don't know her personally. I have may looked at her social networking sites a few times.