PeoplesProblems Logo

I messed up with someone scared of being hurt again

Default profile image
Online Dating advice Okay so, there's this guy I've been friends with for two months, we knew each other before that, but we never really talked. And about a month ago we both told each other we liked one another, but he got burned pretty badly from a past relationship, so he was extremely hesitant to enter a new one. He's TERRIFIED of being hurt again. So, we just kinda went with the flow, to see if we would work out. And it seemed like we really enjoyed each other's company, up until last tuesday. I did something that I thought was playful, but he interpreted it as really mean.

So he wouldn't talk to me for half a day, and when he did, he said, "Yeah, I don't think we'll be compatible anymore, even if we become better friends." I apologized for what I did, and explained to him it was a misunderstanding, and he understands that now, but, he still rejected me, so...

He's an incredibly 'fragile' person, and I didn't realize this until I made that stupid mistake. But I can't stop beating myself up over ruining what could have been a lovely relationship because of a dumb misunderstanding. So now I'm torn between telling him I still have feelings or showing him I can be a good friend and I'm not out to hurt him. It's just, if I tell him how I feel, I may come off as creepy, or obsessive, and I might ruin any chance we have of a friendship. But if I just sit by, I feel like I will have missed my chance...

I just can't stop thinking about him, and it's really, really depressing me. I have no idea why I'm so into this guy at all, and I've tried getting over my feelings, but it just hasn't worked. I have no idea if he's over me or not, because he's very bad at verbally expressing himself.

I really want to tell him that I still have feelings for him, and that I do think that we could work out. The misunderstanding was a result of me just not knowing him well enough as a person. I didn't know he was so sensitive. I mean, in any relationship, you're going to have to work out the 'kinks' and figure out what's acceptable, what they're sensitive to, etc... He knows I didn't try to hurt him intentionally, so I just don't understand why he just gave up.

But I feel like he's just... already moved on with his feelings. Or maybe he just used this situation as an excuse to break it off because he no longer found me attractive.

The only two options I can see are: I can either tell him I still like him, which could ruin our friendship and/or creep him out. Or I can wait, and show him that I can be a good friend, and then maybe he'd trust me more, and I could reveal my feelings then. But there's also the chance by then, he'd be completely over me. But, he could also be completely over me now. I have no idea.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-0