I am 24 and my boyfriend is 22. We both have had one previous relationship with sexual intimacy. We have been dating now for 6 months. He has not given me one orgasm.
It's not really that important to me that I haven't experienced an orgasm with him but the fact that he has not put in the effort is what really hurts. I can't figure out if he is either afraid (because he doesn't know how to please a woman), grossed out my me, or just plainly does not care for my pleasure. I have talked to him about this and he says he tries by rubbing with his penis (that only lasts 1 minute before he inserts) and touching (which lasts for 3 minutes if I'm lucky). I tell him it takes longer than that for females and he becomes defensive and says that "what he gives me isn't good enough for me".
He is not really much of a foreplay kind of guy. Lucky for him I'm super attracted to him so lubrication is never an issue. He lasts average three minutes before he cums. At the beginning of our relationship I would get upset and emotional over it because I felt like he was selfish and didn't care for me or my pleasure. I talked to him about this and he told me that this was an issue he had with his ex too. He also told me that he thinks it's because he gets excited cause he thinks I'm hot or because as a teenager he masturbated a lot. Being together for 6 months has brought me closer to him in non sexual ways. I told myself that I should accept him for who he is and not what I want him to be. He can't help that he finishes fast. So this is no longer an issue but the fact that he won't do anything for me when he finishes is the problem.
After he finishes he tells me his penis hurts. So I don't try going for round two. We lay there and he doesn't try to go down on me or even finger me. I've told him how much this bothers me many times. I tried to show him what feels good for me but he seems to get bothered when I moved his hand to the right position or tell him to be more gentle and then I start to feel like a sexual deviant that wants sex from a little boy. So I told him to do some research online to make it easier on us both. Last time I spoke to him about it he told me that the more I bring it up the less he feels like putting in the effort to try. It has now been a month since we last spoke about it and he has not done any research. The other day we had sex which lasted five minutes and again he didn't bother to touch me. When he was done I told him I was still horny and he said I should just masturbate. I was so hurt. Why should I masturbate when I have him.
So I don't know what to do.I don't feel like giving up on him cause I know this is something minor that can be solved if he just tried. What should I do/tell him? I would greatly appreciate any advice. And I am sorry for the lengthiness I just want you guys to get a good idea of what is going on.
Hope to hear from you guys soon.
This is a common problem with alot of men. He needs to cool his jets and "play" with you more before intercourse. Try slowing down your sex and make it more intimate. This will make you both focus on foreplay more and is VERY enjoyable. As for his premature ejaculation this could be a mental thing or him not knowing how to not cum. Try this, when having sex have him stop when ever he's about to cum for a few seconds. This will not only help him last longer now but will help teach him to control his premature ejaculation. Hope this helps