Insecure gf broke up with me, advice
My ex GF has really low self esteem and she's really anxious and insecure. She does not love herself and she has had a hard life. She was almost raped and she had to have an abortion amongst other things. She didn't want to get into a relationship but then she met me and she felt she could trust me and I have been supportive when she cried and was down. However, all of a sudden she wants to break up because she said that she can't love me properly without loving herself and that's she has been suffering all her life. She feels more insecure and anxious since dating me even though she loves me and doesn't want to break up. She feels breaking up will give her space to heal herself. She also says that she doesn't want to hurt me even though I am strong enough to support her. She is very defensive and sensitive and sees every thing in a negative way.
If I giver her a compliment she will be very suspicious. Another night she thought I had scratches on my chest and she got really upset because she thought I was cheating. When I meet her she seems nervous and on edge and always watching but then asks me if I am nervous even though I am fine. If I am with female friends, she asks me where I am and with who and freaks out. I met a friend of mine last week and she didn't talk to me for a day. She then said she thought I am trying to make her jealous even though that's not true. I was upset because she was giving me the silent treatment and then she freaked out because she thought that I love her more than she loves me because, she said, 'if I trusted you I would love you' and she has also said that she doesn't deserve me; that she is scared because she loves me so much; that she has shown too much of herself; and that if I knew the real her then I wouldn't love her.
We went on a break and I waited for her to be ready to talk. I respected her space. She told me that I have been the perfect boyfriend.
Anyway, so I didn't hear from her for a week and on Monday night she sent me a message saying we should meet up. Long story short, she tells me that she still feels she has to be on her own. So I send a message back saying I understand and that I'll always be there for her etc. so an hour later she calls me and she is crying and she is telling me that she is so confused because I am the best thing in her life and that she misses me etc.
But now we are broken up.
What happened here? I am not saying I want to get back with her, though I do miss her, I just want some perspective because her behaviour was confusing.
I've been dealing with similar problems with my current relationship. You need to her that you completely except her and will never do anything to hurt her. Support her and push her to move past what happened in her past and slowly she'll gain confidants. However if you can't do these things then you either has to become a person who can or say Good Bye