*Names changed* - Sorry it's so long! - I've been dating John for a little over 3 years and I completely love him. Just before I met him, I had met this guy Mitchell and we instantly clicked. Mitchell and I had a "thing" which developed into a relationship that lasted about 4 months but at the end of that summer he said he was moving to the other side of the country and neither of us was fully ready for a long-distance relationship. I knew I loved him from day one and he felt the same. After Mitchell moved, I looked to John as a rebound just a few months later. Mitchell and I had kept contact every day for a while, but that slowly faded away. He came to visit a year after he moved and it was incredible to be with him again. It hurt so much after he left a second time. While with John, I ended up falling in love with him (which I didn't think would happen). Just recently we had an argument and it was said (by John) that the love wasn't there anymore for him; it still was for me. On New Years Day, Mitchell messaged me (after not speaking for nearly a year) and said he was back home for a few weeks to visit. I've seen him every day the past 4 days and I feel like all of those feelings are coming back (again!). I don't want to end it with John.. or cheat on him obviously but Mitchell is only here for so long and all of those feelings are back. I also don't know if I can go through Mitchell leaving again but my feelings for him have become so strong. He has already told me he's missed me the most and still loves me. So.. What do I do now?
If Mitchell was seriously in love with you, the contact would not have stopped when he first left. If you had spoken/emailed/sms to each other daily while he was absent, would you have looked to John?
If you were serious about Mitchell then you would have followed him, you wouldn't have 'let him go'. Instead you let Mitchell walk out of your life and then turned to John on rebound.
When Mitchell has come back, you've let him back into your life very easily. If can't go through the emotions of Mitchell leaving again, why let him back in?...and it's pretty convenient for Mitchell to sms you after 12 months of silence!
If you love John COMPLETELY as you say, then you wouldn't let Mitchell get in the way.
By the sound of it, you have some work to do to sort your relationship with John because you still love him. John has said the love has gone for him but you need to sit him down to speak to him to ascertain that.
If you can't repair the relationship with John, then you need to step back and seriously look at yourself. Give your head some much needed space before you even think about Mitchell.
When you state that you don't want to cheat on John, then don't. If you do go down that track with Mitchell now, then you will have betrayed John and yourself.
What do you do?
You realize that you are NOT ready to commit to one man. So don't.
And be sure to practice safe sex.
I was actually in your same position about a year ago. Except I didn't see the guy who came back cause I knew I would get hurt once he left. You need to let him go. He will just keep reappearing back in your life. If one day you two are closer to each other without the long distance. Then you can see if you can make it work. But for now. Don't ruin what you have with the guy you love now for a guy in your past.