I don't know what to do about my girlfriend
Ok, I am a 30 year old male and I have been dating a 39 year old woman that does have kids. We started dating back about 4 months ago, and yes it did start off fast and heavy very quickly. We would talk all day and everyday and never missed a good morning or a good night. We went on mini vacations together and it was just a great start to a relationship. She said she would want me to ask her to marry me one day and that she said a few times that maybe we can have a child. Well, over the past month I noticed her starting to get a little distant from me, that immediately started to kind of bother me because of how close we were. I told her in the beginning that I needed space and she didn't like it, but this was different because she started to turn a little cold also. We started to fight over the smallest things and it was just getting to us. I told her that this wasn't the same person that I met, because when I met her she always seemed happy and that her life was good. But I did notice that she cried a lot and always had some problems with her ex.
Well over the past few weeks going into the holidays I noticed that she started to turn really cold on me and that the conversation had really gone down, she wasn't at all happy and kind of took it out on me and said she was just to busy to talk and I was fine with that, but I just didn't like how she talked and acted toward me. So, around Christmas we went shopping together and I spent a lot of money on her kids to get them there big gifts this year but I went half with her and that was fine because I was planning on staying with her. And I spent a lot of money on her. But, at this time she was just down right cold and mean and thought Christmas would cheer things up for us.
On Christmas eve we went down together so she could meet my family, and of course I looked at her wrong after I asked her to do something for me and I get a negative tone from her and it set off things. And then on Christmas instead of exchanging gifts with eachother like couples should she cleaned the house all night and I asked if I could help and she basically was ignoring me. Her kids hadn't opened there gifts yet at this point either. Well, we got into it that night because I was unhappy how my Christmas had gone with her and she started up the truck and took me home and that was the last time I saw her. And I left all the gifts at her house.
A couple days later after not talking with her (the longest period we ever had of not talking) I contacted her because I missed her, I let her rip into me all day saying all mean things and I let her and I took it and I just wanted to get it out of her system. She said Thankyou for the gifts I bought her and I didn't get anything from her (she bought me presents, but I didn't unwrap them) later that night and she said good night. That was the last text I got from her. I haven't heard from her in over a week.
I really care for this woman and I thought she cared about me because she would always say she loved me. She is a cop and I know in order to be with her I would have to move further away from my job and live in the town she lives in and honestly I just didn't want to do that because I was afraid that we could break up the way things started to go, because we had discussed that. But I don't know, I have felt heartbroken over this because I have a feeling its over. I haven't bothered her because I feel it wouldn't do much good.
So today I woke up sad as usual because I feel I have to change to be with this person. And I will include saying this that she is not close with her oldest daughter and her ex just hates her. And no, I don't know the reasons, but today I woke up sad and depressed and figuring out ways I need to change to be with her and get her back when something snapped in me and said wait.............she is doing this to YOU. She is the one that changed and turned cold and completely shut me out and I got angry which feels better now than the heartbroken guy that cant get up off the couch. Because it really, really hurt not being able to talk or see her and was afraid that it was over.
My question is......should I be sad right now....or should I be angry knowing that I was kicked out of her life and she never told me to leave.I sent her an email a few days later after I got her last text and it was very heartfelt and very warm, Her very last words to me were I need to get my thoughts together and that was over a week ago. So any ideas on what the deal is with this one? I feel weeks can go by now and I wont hear from her at all, and it pains me that I guess I never had closure with this.
All thoughts and opinions are welcome and thankyou.
I'm sorry Casey, but you have been dropped.
She sounds intense and you sound lay-back about things - not a good mix.
Please spend your energy and good intentions by finding a woman who has the same temperament as you do. Please learn from this entire incident; it will make you stronger in the long run.
I've been searching through this board for male problems to get an insight into how a mans mind works after a separation. I can completely understand where your coming from because I also met a guy last year we started out in June and seemed great, moved in together and discussed engagement and children. He bought me a car for Christmas and took me away for New Years. But somewhere over these past few weeks we seemed to be getting more cold. I hated it and tried to settle the atmosphere but he seemed irritable and I was then reactional moody. I hoped it was a phase as when we were good we were great. Then a few days ago he ended it out of the blue. I am devastated and I can't work out whether it's over for ever or just a mJor fll out, but in my heart I believe he means it. He says he feels nothing when he looks at me now and I have to accept it but just the day before we'd lay in each other's arms discussing our future.
Sorry for taking over your post here. What im trying to say is that sometimes relationships go bad like this and I guess there's no way of knowing whether it just needs a break or it's for real. I have no idea how a mans mind works because he appears to be genuinely over me because in my mind you can't move on so quick. However as a female I'd say to you she must feel something and may just be too proud, she might just need a little line dropped to say your thinking of her and she might come back.
I guess right now I'm not in the best of places to comment. I hope things work out for the best possible outcome for you