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So selfish and confused

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Basically my problem is the choice between two guys. Hence why I think I'm a little selfish. I've been leading them both on because in all honesty I wish I could combine them and be with that new perfect guy. I'm highly educated and ambitious and I just want some advice on which guy you think I should choose, not comments like do what feels right and whoever you love more is right etc. The first guy, let's call him Tom, I had been with for 8 years a while ago. We broke up because the relationship became too intense, arguing and well we were both quite immature. But he loves me more than any person ever will. I see it in his eyes every single day. He tells me how amazing I am and shares common interests with me such as ambition, music, etc. however our culture and religions are very different... I do love him but I'm not sure if too much has passed to rekindle the relationship although he is a lot more mature now and does want to be with me- forever. The second guy, let's call him Zack, is very different to me and many people. He's extremely attractive but lacks ambition. Our cultures and religions are the same and his family is absolutely amazing. Our relationship is so passionate but I fear that it will fade and that all will remain is the different interests we share. He actually proposed to me two months ago. But when he looks at me, I just don't feel like I'm the only girl in his world.. I know it sounds naive and silly.. Right now, I feel more inclined to choose Zack because I love him more right now and he has been the one I've been with the past two years. But I keep thinking of all the qualities I miss in Tom. And when I see Tom I think the same about Zack.. I don't know what to do.. I hate leading them both on. But I really am so unstable. One day it's Tom, the next it's Zack... In future, doesn't the passion fade? Should I choose someone who chases after me or someone I sort of chase after? Should I choose someone similar to me? Or different? Please help. A simple 'Zack' or 'Tom' would be great...

So selfish and confused

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Well Zenith, you're highly educated and ambitious but you can't see the forest for the trees.

You need to follow your heart, you put too much emphasis on analyzing both guys good and bad points...and you've judged them as well.

It doesn't matter what they look like or what their beliefs are etc..when the right person comes along we know it instinctively...I say that again..instinctively.

You state you hate leading them both on...but what about you?..what are you doing to yourself?






So selfish and confused

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Thanks for responding to my post.. I can be quite judgmental.. I guess the answer is neither isn't it?

So selfish and confused

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Yep, be true to yourself, Zenith. Once you do this, then the problem you have with these 2 guys will be no more.

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B-3