Jealousy is consuming me
I've been together with my boyfriend for almost a year, and he has been nothing but kind, loving and caring. He and i are taking our relationship very seriously and we talk openly and share our thoughts and try to support each other the best we can. But in certain things I feel our definition of being open is different. some time ago, we asked me whether i would like to go to sauna/nude thermal bath with some friends of his and i couldn't be there because i was in another town. I was okay with him going with his friends even though it included two of female friends and my boyfriend used to like one of them before he met me. Still it didn't worry me because i completely trust my boyfriend. but after some time, i got to see some of the photos from that night by chance and it made me feel miserable and filled with jealousy. not that the photos were in any way provocative, but just seeing them having good time made me feel incredibly jealous. So then i told my boyfriend all about how i feel and cried a lot, and he was very understanding and tried to comfort me. i know his going to sauna with them was not the best thing he could do, but i also know that he didn't do anything wrong or he had any bad intentions. Still i can't help but feel bad about that for some days now. and i don't want to talk about it with my boyfriend again and again because i know it will put certain pressure on the relationship and that's the last thing i want. Am I overly attached? Am i handling my emotions poorly? I would love to get some advice on this..
In my personal experience jealousy is normal. Caring for someone has a toll and controling our initial emotions is a difficult task. It soudns as though you handled the situation appropriately. Never being afraid to express your feelings and emotions to your significant other is a feat for most girls. Letting him know how you feel is good and feeling the way you feel is normal, so long as it doesn't get out of hand and your boyfriend is trust worthy you've got nothing to worry about. YOU ARE NORMAL!
thanks flower pebbles for your opinion. i guess i know that i this can happen. but i would like to be able to control my emotions better and although i know that i have nothing to worry about, the feelings still occupy me for some days now. i would really like to know what i can actually do to improve the situation/my feelings because i don't want feeling jealous to be a burden for our relationship.
No, you're not overly attached, the photos alone have made you feel insecure with good reason.
You need to understand that if your boyfriend really loved you and was kind, loving and caring as you say then he wouldn't put you in situation which would make you insecure.
He wouldn't even tempt you.
In fact, he wouldn't even go there with 2 females even if you were ok with it initially.
If you state you know his going to the sauna wasn't the best thing he could do, then it's answered your question.
He's your boyfriend but are you serious with him?..are you finding your feet when it comes to possible long term and future relationships?
No matter what he does now, it gives you a heads up of what he's really like...because that's who/what he really is.
well judging by the fact that he grew up with nudist parents and i've been friends with him for almost 8 years now, i know that going to a sauna with friends is really not a big deal for him. It kind of isn't such a big thing for lots of people here in austria. i think that the problem is not really about the actions but more about how i can deal with the feelings.
..but you you knew it wasn't the best thing he could do??!!
...If you accept he grew up with nudist parents and it's not a big deal for him?? means he's done nothing wrong in his eyes...to him, it's normal.
..you want to be with him, then accept him for what he is and then get off this forum, because your problem is your insecurity because YOU can't accept your boyfriend for what/who he is....but YOU choose to be with him, regardless of his nudist upbringing...go figure
Is this a common thing with him? Or a planned one nite party?
If this is a common thing for young people to do, then deal with it. And turn down your jealousy.