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Confused

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Been with a woman for a 8 years, we're both divorced. My kids in their 30's, doing well. Her 3, late teens, early 20's...very immature and selfish..just my opinion. This woman has always drank to excess, doesn't know when she's had enough. Has always been life of the party, been a happy drunk.. but lately, issues between us have turned ugly while she's drinking, that ugly in fact, the police have become involved. I've put my foot down and said she drinks too much but she says I should have accepted that when I met her..fair enough. I know the drink is slowly killing her and so I voice my concern then I get shot down by her, usually when she's drunk. She tells me to "get out of her house", the next day she says "come home". Her kids of course, support her because she's been their only parent for all their young lives...Father lives interstate, but is mentally ill and hospitalized. They always stand up for her and we've had some fairly wild verbal blues...and the things they say are unbelievable!! Situation has now become untenable. I know I probably need to just leave because I know her drinking comes before me and possibly her kids as well. I'll never be first. I've been copping flak from her Father, her friends etc...as well. They tell me I'm abusive and I have no right to try and control her!..WTF!!! control her?..I'm probably crazy to be involved with the woman. Her Father says he once told her to curb her drinking but she didn't talk to him for 2 years after that- they lived 2 mile apart!! and so he says, just accept it or have her as an enemy. Am I on a different planet?

Confused

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Plant Sanity - I'd say!! Alcoholism is predictable and progressive and you are relating all this in your story. You need to decide if you want to be part of this downward spiral that is happening. Tell her to get help or you will have to leave. And then follow up on that. It's only going to get worse.

Confused

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Alcohol abuse causes immeasurable damage to relationships. It's causing big problems in yours. This woman's kids are probably left field but they'll back their Mum to the hilt until they realise what the problem really is...then it'll be a measure of their maturity how they cope with it. The ripple effect from alcohol abuse is plain to see here. Make up your mind whether you want to keep copping the abuse because, I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do while she continues drinking except save yourself. She has the problem and just expects you to put up with it and, discounting the law being involved, she will continue to cause problems for you if you hang around. Better to leave now rather than wait for God knows what is down the track.

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